Trent should definitely be everyone’s first choice

The buildings

Starting off sensible, and what we are actually paying £9,000 a year to do, the University itself. In terms of architecture, Trent looks like the University of York has crashed into the bonnet of somewhere more niche and modern like Brunel, yet somehow it works. Just look at Newton and Arkwright for starters. With a mix of the traditional and the new, NTU is like mixing Professor Dumbledore with Miss Norbury from Mean Girls, and yes, it works.

Its modern twist and central location has attracted more than 26,000 students from across the world to the brighter side of Nottingham. It creates a diverse cultural experience, like attempting to understand one of the many Brummy accents on Trent side, or teaching a Northerner how to say ‘no’ properly.

The Student Union is one of the best in the country – that’s not even biased, it’s a statistical fact. It has a satisfaction rating of 83%, well above the national average of 69%. Find me an SU which not only has a huge sports hall and gym, but also provides live entertainment from watching an aspiring Bear Grylls take on the Union’s climbing wall, whilst sipping on a caramel latte, listening to an acoustic cover of Fester Skank. Exactly.

Climax is also the best club night name of them all, it’s also not a bad way to spend your Saturday.

The library is architecture’s answer to Mary Poppins’ hand bag. It has everything from the Marxist theory on social revolution, to the third series of 50 Shades of Grey. Also, like Paris Hilton’s new penthouse, it even has a roof top terrace with a pool.

Night life

Remember the days of sixth form, when even the thought of leaving the house for a night out on a Wednesday made you feel light headed and weak at the knees? Now, Ocean Wednesdays have gone beyond the point of fun, to a sense of duty to dress up as Tinky Winky or Snow White mid-sex change to one of the UK’s most famous student nights out.

This is to name only one of the ridiculous nights out available in Nottingham. Dirty Mondays at Forum, Ink/Oceana Tuesdays and Rock City on Thursdays are all a far contrast from a quiet night with the lads at the Wetherspoons back home, all before hitting the weekend. And hit it hard you will.

No longer deterred by that 9am lecture on the social and cultural geographies of post-socialist transformation you would have on a weekday morning, your only concern is the half a jug of Aldi vodka, wine and peach schnapps you’ve been nominated to down by your morale supporting flat mates. Truly living up to the label of a “student city”, there are even a few brave souls, who make the trip to Bowery’s Industry night on a Sunday.

Freshers’

My parents always told me: “practice makes perfect”. I’m sure they will be delighted to know that this has certainly come true, both in terms of drinking stamina and twisted sleeping patterns after Freshers’. This week not only warms you into the liver kicking life of university, but will possibly be the week you most, or maybe least, remember of your life.

With over a week of crazy themes and wild events, from Trent Army to beach party to UV, you’ll meet anyone and everyone. By “meet”, I mean that after four tequila shots, you are telling each other your life story and you’ve now become best friends in the middle of Rock City, dressed as a crayon. You’ll learn to become independent by reheating half of the Domino’s pizza you’d failed to conquer the night before, whilst establishing greater financial responsibility, “Oh shit, what did I spend £84 on last night?!”.

Sports and societies

“No but seriously, what the fuck is lacrosse?”. Almost like your parents lying about Father Christmas until age 10, the sport lacrosse remains a relative unknown until hitting University, where it suddenly becomes everyone’s favourite hobby. Of course there remains the mainstream; football, rugby, cricket but there is everything from waterskiing to burlesque to American football. Never have I ever been asked if I wanted to do some BJJ, I guess I’ve been unfortunate, but yes there is even Brazilian Ju Jitsu, in case you were wondering.

Now I’m only a Fresher, but the Varsity series against Uni of has been described to me as “so sick” and “banterous af” by a few associated second and third years. With chants such as “I’d rather be a poly than a cunt” and “T-R-E-N-T ARMY!” at venues such as the National Ice Centre for ice hockey and Trent SU for pub sports, the dramatic experience of roaring on your fellow Trent-goers is a highlight of any academic year.

The city

Nottingham – the home of Hooters and Paul Smith. Why wouldn’t you want to come here? It seems to have a new place to eat, drink or shop every week. Are you that person who claimed to have discovered the band Peace first, and will buy any kind of wavy shit because it is “vintage”? Make sure to visit Hockley, Cow and Wild in particular, will make you the indiest kid in Meridian Court. There’s every kind of high street retailer your heart could desire, if you are that little more mainstream.

Before we go any further, there’s a Kitty Cafe. That’s right, there are cats sauntering around you in a cosy armchair whilst sipping on a cup of coffee, before you’ve even hit pension. Then dotted around the city are several characterful coffee shops to detox from the weeks night life. Hockley and Lace Market again are very popular.

Pretty sure Nottingham has more McDonalds than people in all honesty, but away from the dream that is a 20 McNugget sharebox, make sure to visit Annie’s Burger Shack in the Lace Market. Nottingham’s pride and joy, offer meals probably triple the size of your microwave Mac ‘N’ Cheese the night before. Personally, I’d check out Tropeiro, it’s Brazilian and they literally don’t stop feeding you until you can’t move, it’s brilliantly torturous. Also the many many options of round the world buffets, are now a monthly fixture for me and my mates, a stones throw from the Uni and you can be dipping Naan Bread into a red hot chilli sauce with chips.

So it’s clear, Nottingham Trent is the place for you. And if you needed further convincing, Nottingham was recently crowned the student sex capital of the UK, that’s even with Uni of dragging the average down.