Every person you will see at City gym

The gym is dead in the mornings and on Wednesday evenings, cheers Ocean, but ram packed at all other times. It’s full of characters, including the people you don’t want to see such as one night stands.

The City gym is a great place to exercise for those who aren’t ballsy enough to join a society, however the main positive is that it’s a prime spot for people watching.

Deserted due to Ocean

Provided it’s not a Wednesday, you’re bound to see a few of the following types on your visit:

The gym selfier

She spends two hours walking at a snail’s pace on a treadmill to kid herself that she exercises.

Her make-up is always beautifully applied, false eye-lashes glued on and pierced stomach sufficiently peeping out of that extremely inappropriate top, this girl is ready to go! She’ll probably post a pic on Instagram afterwards. #newyearnewme.

The BNOC

They have no reason to go to the gym other than to annoy you while you can’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation.

Phrases you’ll likely hear include, “OMG I was so wasted last night”, “You didn’t get invited to the massive house party? I’ll get you in” and “After this I’m doing my weekly clothes shop in *insert apparently edgy shop”.

Luckily for us, they’ll probably be out of there in half an hour.

The sweater

Bless them, they’re trying. You definitely don’t want to hop on the bike after them. The red faced and sweat-drenched are the most common sight you’ll see.

Maybe they’ve never been to a gym before and while they drip on the ergo, they regret ever deciding to leave the house. Perhaps they’re just those unfortunate people who happen to look like a reddish coloured drowned rat after exercise. They’re burning the calories we wish we could.

The fashionista

This girl will be found flaunting around in an expensive and perfectly co-ordinated outfit, probably with matching underwear, that took longer to pick than her time spent in the gym.

Nike, Sweaty Betty and PINK labels left right and centre. In a peacock type affair, these brightly coloured garms are for one purpose only – attention seeking, and trust us, we’re looking.

The show-off

Ok, they probably aren’t showing off at all, they’re just better than you. They can lift ten times what you can or have been sprinting flat out for what seems like five hours making you feel physically sick.

You hate them and  therefore tell yourself they’re arseholes who are showing off on purpose to wind you up. We all know they’re laughing at us inadequate human beings.

The meat head 

These guys can be found around the smelly, boy-ridden corner, usually grunting and screaming at each other while they over-dramatically throw weights over their heads.

Many a skinny-legged man with upper body muscles double the size of their heads will be spotted. But to give them credit, most of us find it hard to lift the lightest dumbbells and they clearly try hard to get the ‘I can’t fit through a door’ look. Good on you!

The gang, AKA space wasters

Male or female, they drag each other to the gym because it’s the only way they get their weekly dose of exercise. They hate the gym but feel they need to go so inevitably sit there chatting for hours on machines you want to use.

Giving them deathly glares won’t help, they’ll stay on the treadmill longer now.