How to make friends at Trent during freshers

You got into Trent, and now the hard work really begins. It’s time to leave the BTEC world behind and do something worthwhile. Making entirely new friends from scratch who share your poor work ethic and passion for peach schnapps.

Obviously you’re going to be the most interesting person ever to grace the presence of those you end up sharing a flat with, so here’s how to escape the norms and fake it till you make it.

Join a sport club 

You get out of breath from walking up the steps to the Newton building and smoke about 40 a day, but now you’re a real life Trent fresher nothing is more important to you than sports. You were the year 6 girl’s netball GA so obviously fitness was going to be massively important to you when you got into university.

Yes, turning up to taster sessions fully kitted out with protein shake in hand may give you the best chance of making the first team, but who remembers the person who attended every single practice and scored the winning varsity goal? No one.

Who remembers the time you got so fucked up on a mixture of Jäeger and Sambuca that you threw up all down your caveman loincloth in the middle of Ocean, then told the bouncer it wasn’t yours before being thrown out? Everyone.

Go sports!

Document your entire night out on Snapchat

You’ve never topped 240 seconds on your story but be prepared to disgust even yourself when you take it beyond four digits.

Selfie after selfie and a video of someone downing the last of their rosé before jumping in a taxi that you told you’d be “right out” for 15 minutes ago are broadcast to all your friends who are on the same night out as you.

Witty captions that are often misspelled adorn your drunkenly blurred photography. You say goodbye to your 3G all so you can relive the night before next to that worldie you pulled who doesn’t even have you on Snapchat! It’s their loss really.

Squad selfie xx

Vintage everything

Leave the Hollister at home and the Ben Sherman in the bin. Here at Trent we dress for the careers ahead of us, which are none. Baggy shirts, mum jeans and Adidas jackets are the apparel of choice when attending lectures or the club.

If you’re lacking in the vintage department, just raid the local Oxfam – it will set you back on alcohol funds but we’ve all made sacrifices to fit in.

When choosing your wavey garms keep in mind that people will ask you where you got your clothes from, remove all labels and keep responses as vague as possible so that people don’t know you’re just a poser.

Not vests. Never vests.

Typical Trent style.

Student satisfaction

If there’s one thing Trent does well it’s doing others. Cast off the shackles of your pre uni relationships and experience a sexual awakening – most likely with those in your halls.

A day without a shag is a day wasted during freshers. Once lectures start you will actually have to leave the flat during daylight hours and of course, you will see every single one of your coital companions on the 5-minute walk to Tesco Express, so it’s best to fill your boots whilst you can and save yourself embarrassment all year round. The more people you get with the more people are going to know who you are.

Perhaps for the wrong reasons, but if that’s wrong who wants to be right?

cheeky.

Add everyone you see on Facebook

That girl on your course who you’ve never spoken to? You’re on the same course so you must be friends, add her.

The guy on the treadmill next to you in the gym? You both enjoy running, add him.

When your parents told you to get yourself out there and not be afraid to make friends this isn’t exactly what they meant but who are they to question your almighty knowledge? You’ve made 200 friends in one week and even though no one is really sure which one you are in your group pictures nothing can deter you.

Raking in the mates.

Well done, you completed Fresher’s 2k15. Don’t forget about us now you’re at the top.