I want him to order my food but I’m still an independent woman

Ashleigh Tuttle

Chivalry is dead

It’s a typical night scene. In a club, with my friends, when a guy looks my way and smiles. He starts making his way over, doing his best to be confident.

He says: “Hi, what’s your name?” So I scream at him “I’m a woman who has my own body and own choices. You don’t own me.”

Really? Is that what I’m expected to do now? I feel like I’m the only one nowadays who wants a man who is actually being a man.

Rather than one that is too scared to say the slightest thing, and analyses everything he says in fear of offending my feminist mind.

Sure, I’m all for men and women being equal as much as the next person. I mean we’re all human, right?

An article was written recently about guys acting as if they are feminist, a fauxminist as it were. Has it ever crossed anyone’s mind that women could be doing the same thing?

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I know many women that would define themselves as feminists, but most of them still hold the same values.

A guy should be the one to ask them out on a date. A guy should be the one to pay the bill. A guy should be the one to open a door for them and if he doesn’t he’s rude and a pig. It’s not possible to have it both ways.

Are women who take feminism to the extreme actually emasculating the male race? That by enforcing rules that women don’t need men in their lives, men feel like some of their own purpose has been lost?

I wouldn’t just want a guy to pay for my meal, I’d want him to order what I was having too. Sure I’m independent, but to me all that shows is that he knows me well.

I want him to open my car door for me too, buy me outfits and tell me we’re going out, and not tell me where.

dinner

Maybe I’m living in the middle ages, but I want to be wooed and to be taken care of. If a fight broke out, and I got caught in the middle of it, it would be nice to be saved.

There have been times where a guy has made advances on me which I haven’t wanted. But my reaction rather than to turn to him and say “I’m a strong independent woman” is to turn to my best friend (a guy) who I know will protect me, because in the long run I know that will be more effective.

Maybe in some people’s eyes that makes me less of a woman, but to me that makes me smarter, and safer.

Maybe I’m prejudiced. I come from a small town where the primary achievement seems to be finding a man and getting married.

I know many of my friends from home have been treated horribly by men and have stuck by them, perhaps that’s why I’m less offended than someone who thinks when they’re called gorgeous that it’s sexist.

Men are misjudged before even two words come out of their mouth. That seems to be the society we’re in, and it’s not fair.

So if the words “make me a sandwich” come out of his mouth, a look should be enough to shut him up. For me it would not entirely change my opinion of him.

If you feel like you have to change a guy’s perspective of you, maybe you shouldn’t be with him at all.

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