Palentine’s Day: The ultimate guide to a totally unromantic February 14th

It’s 2021, romance is for suckers


This year’s Valentine’s day is looking to be fairly by the book; unfortunately, the book is ‘I Am Legend’. Yes, the coronavirus pandemic has even taken our favourite corporate holiday from us. With lockdown either getting in the way of seeing your partner or ruining your dating life, chances are you’ll be spending this Valentine’s with housemates. But fear not – we have some ideas to keep you from feeling the Valentine’s blues.

Waking up and breakfast

First things first, sleep in – you deserve it. But not too late, we have things to do. This Feb 14th is going to be all about selfcare and excessive gluttony, which St Valentine probably wouldn’t have approved of, being a saint and all, but he’s a 2000-year-old dead guy so what does he know? Start the day off with something heart clogging, pancakes are a good option, there’s the added fun of laughing at your housemates attempts to flip them.

We love a lie in

Entertainment and relaxation

After you’ve gorged yourself on breakfast it’s time for some entertainment and relaxation. For entertainment there’s the usual suspects: watching a film, avoid romance movies at all cost, board/card games, cards against humanity is always a crowd pleaser. But the number one pick has to be the Wii, it’s a laugh with your housemates plus, manically flailing your wrist is a Valentine’s day staple. Relaxation should be whatever makes you chill out, we’ve all developed our own little coping strategies over lockdown. Our top pick has to be skincare: fervently grooming yourself, not unlike a demented cat, will definitely bring some comfort.

The tiara is optional

Boozing the night away

Palentine’s night should be about one thing and one thing only: boozing with your buddies. What you’re drinking doesn’t matter as long as it comes in excessive quantities, although it is a special occasion so don’t feel bad about getting something nice. Play a drinking game, do a quiz, just have fun. There’s no blueprint for this one but if you aren’t paralytic and attempting to manoeuvre around your half-conscious friend in twister, you’re doing something wrong.

The days activities can be combined if you’re feeling adventurous

Whether you’re Celebrating Valentine’s or Palentine’s Day, make sure to forget about your troubles and have a laugh. But if nothing else, you can take solace in knowing a lot of annoying people are deeply unhappy with their relationships.