Which pandemic student are you?

It’s safe to say the pandemic hit everybody like a tonne of bricks. We starved because all we can cook is pasta, we drank until our livers were on the brink of no return, and we worried about what we would use to wipe the next time we needed to drop the kids off at the pool. It was not our finest moment by any means, but the new academic year has arrived and it brings with it a chance to redeem ourselves (or not).

Students across Brighton are all finding their own ways to deal with the inevitable stresses of ‘rona round two. So, which ‘pandemic student’ are you?

The one that went home

As soon as you heard about the COVID reaching the UK, you dipped. You called your mum, packed the essentials and hopped on a train, all within the hour. Brighton hasn’t seen you since and you still pay rent for a student house you’re not even living in.

The one who stockpiles

You have things you know you don’t even need, but you bought it just incase it runs out. Nesquik? Don’t even like it, but it’ll keep you going when your stash of thirteen packets of pasta have depleted.

The one who doesn’t shower

You don’t see the point of personal hygiene when you haven’t left the house, you know theres no-one to try and impress. Your hair is greasy, your t-shirts have sweat patches under the armpits and you haven’t changed clothes in a week. The rest of your house have been begging you to take a shower, so you compromise by trying to mask the smell with deodorant. Even your Zoom teacher has sent you an email asking if you’re coping.

The one who cares a little bit too much

The opposite of the previous student, you’re a bit extra and pride yourself on your appearance. All of your classes have moved online but you don’t want to be caught slipping, so every morning you stress yourself out trying to choose the perfect outfit. You even go as far as to pick accessories and shoes, as if anyone in your class will even take any notice.

The one who drinks on Zoom

You don’t take life too seriously and like to have fun. Zoom seminars are hindering your inner party animal, so you’ve decided to take matters into your own hands by bringing wine. Obviously you try to disguise it in your University of Sussex coffee cup, but when you start a conversation about the influence of Marxism on women’s oppression and then end up talking about how your ex’s snoring really annoyed you, everyone has their sneaky suspicions.

The one who takes self-care a little bit too far

It’s definitely important to take time for yourself, but you have stretched this to extremes. You log into your Zoom seminars and lectures, mute yourself, turn your video off and leave the room. Uni has become a distant memory – we are in a pandemic after all, who cares about education, survival is what is important? You’ve adopted the mindset that life is too short and we should enjoy it while it lasts… at least until you’ve finished season 3 anyway.

The one that won’t leave their lecturer alone

Needy by nature, but with good intentions, you bombard your lecturers’ inboxes with your worries. You haven’t become accustomed to the new way of living yet, so you find yourself getting lonely and craving social interaction. The first class honours degree that you set your heart on feels further and further away from reality, your vision for your punny graduation day Instagram captions also fizzling. You think about this on a daily basis.

The one with awful WiFi

This image haunts you. You spend your days begging your laptop to connect, and constantly apologising when asking people to repeat themselves on Zoom. You keep dropping in and out of your lessons, and wondering what on God’s green earth possessed you to buy the cheapest WiFi you could find and accept the technician installing the router in the basement. Online learning couldn’t have come at a worse time.

However you’re dealing with pandemic student life, it’s comforting to know you’re not alone. We’re all going through it, and our quirks are what keep us going. Reach out to those around you and make sure they’re coping… But please, for the sake of your housemates, don’t go on a shower strike!