We recreated Concorde 2 in our student house and it just wasn’t the same
Nothing can ever replace the bassy rumbles
Concorde 2 is known and loved as both the largest and one of the wildest clubs in Brighton. With its huge variety of events, its stage has been graced by music legends for over 25 years and it has become an absolute favourite for those seeking a more music oriented evening.
Since the announcement that all clubs and bars would close due to COVID-19, students around the country have felt incomplete without their weekly clubbing fix. To help cure this hole in our hearts we attempted to recreate a Concorde 2 experience whilst still abiding to lockdown rules – here’s what we found out.
The windy walk
Any regular Concorder is all too familiar with the arduous and windswept walk that is unavoidable as the first step to your big night out. Having downed the last of your drink on the 25, the seafront gales sober you up somewhat whilst you argue with your flatmate over who decided it was warm enough to go without a coat.
With our nicely heated house providing much more comfort than this, we took to using a cold hairdryer to imitate the struggles – focus on completely messing up your perfect styled hair for a particularly authentic experience.
The intimidating bouncer
Our next challenge was to get past a rather scary looking bouncer and gain access to the club. At the real Concorde, queues can be tiresome and the pat downs uncomfortable. But, in our own home, we breezed past our flatmate bouncer with the only disagreement being his mockery over a 20 year old who still has a green driver’s license. If you’re under 18 or haven’t been clubbing before then congratulations, this will now be your first and best clubbing experience.
The classic Red Stripes
No night at Concorde is complete without at least a few cans of Red Stripe and our Concorde-from-home is no different. Despite the voice in your head telling you that £4.50 for a can is too much, you return to the bar more times than you care to admit, buying extra for when you inevitably drop one or it gets knocked out of your grasp by a wayward arm. You know what they say, a red stripe a day keeps the doctor away.
DJ was banging
The calibre of tunes is a solid deciding factor for the best nights out and, although our student house may not be residence to any award winning artists, it has the next best thing: a pair of decks and an aspiring student DJ. With the sweet, sweet sounds of drum ‘n’ bass booming from the speakers, we boogied to our hearts’ content with no one to judge our questionable moves.
If you want a closer look at the DJ, climbing on a friend’s shoulders is a must, but watch out for the no-nonsense bouncers – they’ll put you back on the ground in a jif.
Tiny toilet shenanigans
Integral to any night out is the part where you and your gal bffs stuff yourselves into a teeny weeny toilet cubicle, much like a family of small mice, and discuss the key to enlightenment whilst displacing your wedgies. We located the smallest toilet in the house and got cramming.
And of course, it would have been overtly wrong to go to the toilets without buying a lolly or two from the nice lolly lady.
Pretty exhausted from the crisp, relentless drum ‘n’ bass, we headed to the smoking area (patio) for some sweet, sweet relief. This of course involved begging strangers (housemates) for a stick of filters, whilst making poor attempts to subtly flirt. No phone numbers were scored.
Windy walk pt 2
After a long night of boogieing, it was time to make the treacherous journey back along the seafront in the howling wind. And cue the hairdryer.
So overall, what did we learn? Not much. Was it as good as the real thing? Not even close. Besides cramming hundreds of people into the living room (a social distancing NO), cranking the volume up so high we get a noise complaint (also not preferable), and maybe knocking down some walls to get the acoustics just right (our landlord said no), this was as close as we could possibly get to the Concorde 2 experience. As things stand, we remain in anticipation for our fave club to reopen its doors to us.
It has to be said, however, that by cutting out that wet, windy commute, we saved ourselves the emotional turmoil of arriving at the club soaking and cold. It’s safe to say the bedtime routine was cut in half, allowing us to get some well-earned sleep in a matter of minutes.