‘Naked and covered in her own sick’: Students who work at Brighton clubs share their worst job horror stories
’10 other guys round him just prodding his ballsack’
Let’s face it, students are so messy. Nights out are always a recipe for disaster. There is no such thing as a ‘simple’ night out. If you have ever had an stress-free night out, you haven’t done it right.
Fortunately for you, you are in the midst of a drunken haze, you choose to forget certain moments of the night and you blame it all on the booze. However, unfortunately for you, the club staff see and remember everything. Every. Single. Moment.
The Sussex Tab have spoken to club staff who have given us the down low on your drunken antics, and oh boy, they are messy. From having sex in the photo booth to being lathered up in your own vomit sliding around the toilets, students are another breed and this article just proves that.
‘Fully NAKED and covered in her own sick’
My favourite was when a girl told me she ‘needed help’ and I went in and her friend was fully NAKED and covered in her own sick somehow in a cubicle with the door open.
‘They proceeded to eat face about 10 meters from where I was standing’
This guy was fully like carrying a girl into the toilets saying she needed to be sick and he needed to help her, when I said I’d help her and he couldn’t go in she hopped off, walked away normally and they proceeded to eat face about 10 meters from where I was standing.
This night went a bit ‘tits up’
‘Thrown up on the bar’
People have thrown up in cups and on the bar.
‘There was one guy spread eagle on the floor’
Walked into the gents last night and there was one guy spread eagle on the floor and like 10 other guys round him just prodding his ballsack.
‘I’ve had to clean up tampons stuck to a wall before’
People get naked in that booth all the time and some have been caught having sex. I’ve had to clean up tampons stuck to a wall before.
‘Saw a girl rip an entire door off once’
I’ve heard so many drunk convos when I go to the toilet on shift. But obviously I’m sober. So many drunk girls chatting shite- saw a girl rip an entire door off once. A girl snuck into a room when it was closed and took a wee wee on the floor of the bar.
‘Seeing 200 dicks in the photo booth’
People get naked in that photo booth all the time. Some people have even been caught having sex.
Are they glow stick hoop earrings? Nice.
‘Somersault over the tables’
We saw on CCTV that some guy tried to do a somersault over the sofas and ended up breaking the table and falling on his arse.
‘One of them full on HEADBUTTED her’
Well, one time in the smoking area, I watched two girls get into a physical fight over one of them texting the others boyfriend. One of them full on HEADBUTTED her and there was lots of blood. And they were both dragged out by security and continued having a fight on the seafront.
‘The club had closed and everyone had left’
We were at a staff drinks after work once and we heard someone in the toilets on the phone to someone after the club had closed and everyone had left. And this guy was just on the toilet floor so drunk.
You already know they caused some dramas
‘Someone fell asleep in the female toilets’
Once we had to break down the doors of the female toilets because someone fell asleep in there and her mates were getting very concerned.
‘Having sex by the dance floor’
A couple were once caught having sex by the dance floor.
‘Swear someone’s pissed on every bar’
One guy walked into the bar washroom and pissed in the sink. And I swear someone’s pissed on every bar in the club.
To put it bluntly, bar staff and people who work in clubs are the unspoken heroes of this generation. They never judge and are the definition of ‘service with a smile’. They deal with so much of your relationship problems, soggy cash, vomit and tears.
Next time you order a drink at the bar, just be aware the bartender might have actually seen your sick or dried tampon stuck to the toilet wall.
They all agreed, however, they love their jobs. So the only thing left to say is: stay messy, you party animals.