Choose your Sussex stereotype and we’ll match you to a Pancake Day topping

We can’t all be Nutella


Ah February, you’ve given us so many things to be thankful for: the panic surrounding coronavirus, the havoc wreaked by Storm Dennis and the announcement of more strikes that will have a huge impact on students’ education.

But, amongst these thorns lies a rose in the form of a sweet and delicious dessert: pancakes. For those of you still confused, we’re talking about Pancake Day, aka Shrove Tuesday.

For the religious among us it marks the day before Lent starts and the last chance to indulge. But, for the rest of us, it acts as the perfect excuse to cram your belly full of sugary sweet treats with a whole host of toppings to match.

If you’ve ever wondered how your personality correlates with pancake toppings (we know we certainly have) then read on, you’re in for a treat.

Basic Bitch – Nutella

Possibly the most reliable of pancakes, a good ol’ Nutella filling is a solid option. With its gooey melty middle, the ingredients can be found at any corner shop and it’s easy to recreate – much like the style of its stereotype. Ugg boots may be out of fashion but pancakes will never be.

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(nu)tella me anything better than pancake day

Hippie – Fresh Fruit and Natural Honey

A classic combination but with an au natural twist – the ingredients for a hippie-style stack of pancakes are sourced only from the most sustainable of farms. Eaten off a homemade ceramic plate and using wooden cutlery, this topping is colourful and vibrant, just like its stereotype’s style.

Sports Nut – Bacon and Maple Syrup

Today may be one of the only days a year where you can justify swapping your usual protein shake for a large stack of syrupy pancakes (and bacon for just a lil bit of protein). Plus, they’re filling enough to last you through your evening training session and the beers with the boys that will inevitably follow – but make sure you do an extra hour in the gym tomorrow to make up for it.

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you batter believe it

Roadman – Plain

Just as a roadman is not complete without their matching Adidas tracksuits and Air Force 1s, Sussex uni is not complete without its fair share of roadmen. Although they may argue that they’re far too cool for Pancake Day, the reality is that their mum forgot to text and remind them so they’re topping selection is minimal. Better luck next year.

Posho – Granola, Cream and Berries

Either bought from the campus Co-op or delivered in your weekly Ocado shop, this topping combo has an acquired taste. It’s probably the most pricey of options and also one of the most decadent. But don’t worry, I’m sure Mummy and Daddy will be happy to send over that extra tenner for Co-op Irresistible Raspberries and fresh Cornish clotted cream.

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at least they’re one of your five-a-day #healthy

Indie Kid – Peanut Butter and Banana

This topping marks the perfect midpoint: sweet but not sickly and healthy but not overly so – much like the stereotype it correlates with. Indie kids are basic enough to enjoy a night at Chalk Monday but artsy enough to wear Doc Martens and a trench coat with style, a perfect combination.

Honourable mention – Lemon and Sugar

The staple of any pancake menu and superior to all other toppings, lemon and sugar gets an honourable mention. Whether you fit one of these stereotypes or not, lemon and sugar will always have your back.