Sussex uni have put up signs warning students of seagull attacks

Good thing seagulls can’t read


New signs have been put in place around campus aiming to warn students about the danger of Sussex university's most feared creature – the seagull.

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If I wasn't scared before, I am now

We all know someone (or are someone) who has been attacked by a 'gull, who will stop at almost nothing to get a bite of your Co-op meal deal. Seagull encounters are a part of everyday life at Sussex – most of us have accepted them as a calculated risk when stepping onto campus.

The new signs, stating "Beware, Seagull Attacks" are placed primarily near food establishments, where a lot of the birds roam in the hope of scoring a free meal. The signs will hopefully make students and staff more aware of the dangers of dining on campus, putting an end to the lawless regime of the seagulls, although some encounters are reportedly unprovoked.

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This one clearly DGAF

The Sussex Tab spoke to Sophie, a second year who had a close encounter with one of the flying fiends: "I was walking back to the library, past the meeting house, and I saw a seagull. Because I HATE them I walked around it at a safe distance of about two metres. That was obviously not far enough. It followed me and as I walked faster it then flew AT me… What did I ever do to it? It tried to bite my leg off. I'm lucky to be alive today."

Clearly, seagull attacks are an issue of epidemic proportions at Sussex, and it's good to see some action being taken against their reign of tyranny.

Will the signs prevent more attacks? That it yet to be seen; the responsibility falls largely down to Sussex students, as seagulls have not yet learned to read.