Sussex’s BNOC of the Year 2019: Round One

Kicking off the competition with a bang


Tilly Pennington, Second Year, History and American studies

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For her 19th birthday at East Slope, Tilly had a jagërbomb for every year of life.

It was an Epik Wednesday for Tilly when, "back in first year", after a classic Pryzm night, "Tilly was on her way back to Northfield but strangely woke up outside Co-Op instead. She had passed out on a bench outside Co-Op!!!!"

When Tilly isn't doing that she's typically found in The Haunt on a Monday, making the most of the £5 for 5 jagërbomb deal.

Joe Healy, First Year, Business Management

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"Joe can't hear but he'd like to see he won this award"

Described by his nominators as someone who "literally knows everyone", Fresher Joe is a very familiar face around Sussex campus. His shaved head is a sign that he's really made it in the world – all the way to Porec and back with his newly formed Rugby brotherhood and lack of hair to prove it.

Tour wasn't all fun and games though, as poor Joe endured more than he signed up for. His nominators told us of the night that "someone needed a room to shag in, so they used Joe's because his hearing aids were off".

Despite his dashing good looks, Joe has not always struck up luck with the ladies. Earlier this year, Joe "went home after various different nights out with the same girl multiple times, only to be kissed goodbye and sent on his way when they reached her front door". God loves a trier Joe, but don't lose hope – we hear the Netball team will happily give you the lovin' you deserve.

Sachin Patel, Second Year, Business and Marketing

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Sachin described his time at Sussex so far as "a wild couple years"

Second year student, Sachin was 17 when he first came to Sussex. "I did an international foundation, the whole year I used a fake ID from a friend who was 23, managed to get by the whole year without question," he told The Sussex Tab.

Sachin was once without his glasses when he was withdrawing cash from the atm, so much so he "withdrew 200 quid not knowing where the money was, then went to Shoosh and spent another 300 for no reason, woke up at 10am, head lying flat on a chocolate cake."

Lauren ('Chill Gurl') Horner, Second Year, Product Design

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Joining Sussex all the way from the USA, Second year Lauren is better known amongst her friends as "chill gurl", supposedly because "she's the girl that knows all the boys, hangs out with them but is 'just friends' with them".

Her wild ways are justified by her position as Women's football social sec, so she's pretty popular in the sports community too, which means you're always guaranteed to catch her at every Pryzm Wednesday (with a rugby boy on her arm).

She enjoys partying so much that she looses recollection of the nights events. Once she even "kissed four boys on the same team but has absolutely no recollection. They definitely remember her though, even if she can't remember them".

Lauren is not just skilled on the pitch, but her success with boys is no exception, so much so that "she managed to bag the only straight boy in Revenge on a Thursday", which shows just how special she is.

Lauren has even been on tour, not once but twice, and boys have fallen at her feet all the way in Croatia. Her nominators told us she once "hooked up with a boy (wow). He fell asleep at 1am so she did what any reasonable person dressed as a naughty school girl would do – jump the balcony and run back to the club for round two".

Her nominators warn girls "to keep your boyfriends close", before they fall head over heels for Football fitty Lauren.

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