Here are a few things Sussex left out on their open day

It’s not all sunshine and roses (from the Sainsbury’s Basics range)

You’ve probably heard about it from your mates, your siblings, or even your parents who may have attended back in the day – Sussex is a fantastic place to go to university.

And it sure is, after all we named all the amazing bits about it ourselves. However, when we took that train/car journey down to Sussex during summer to have a look at what could be potentially our uni of choice some things were left out of the brochure.

It’s a vegan-only life

You thought you could sneak in a little KFC here and there without your new ultra-vegan flatmates noticing, but it won’t take you long to realise you can’t go anywhere without a reminder that you are not vegan. Are those leather shoes? Sin. Is that a Nando’s card? Even bigger sin. Soon you resort to rice and inhaling water for fear of the vegan inquisition.

Oh yeah, everyone has watched cowspiracy.

You’re going to be sick with some Fresher’s Flu/Black Plague for 80% of your time at uni

Say goodbye to ye ol’ cannabis, the new drug hype is Lemsip Cold and Flu tablets because you’re gonna need them every single day. You’d be forgiven for thinking that a university in a huge park would be great for the health. But, like many students before you, you will be ill and the phrase ‘Yeah, I’m feeling pretty ill’ will be uttered many a time.

The weather is actually crap most of the time

Isn’t it nice to be by the seaside? Sure. If you like staring at your reflection in the fog. When you think of Brighton you’re supposed to think of the beach, the sea, the sunshine… all I can think about is whether it’s socially acceptable to wear my wellies to my seminar.

As summer approaches, thousands of sun-seekers descend on Brighton to grab a few inches of the beach to chill out on. You can never find the right balance.

Literally everyone is a promoter

Be careful not to mix business with pleasure, because you’ll only find yourself crying on your bedroom floor when you thought the hot boy from next door was trying to get your number but he was only sending you text reminders of nights out.

You will put on three stone alone because of The Hatch

Late night sessions are the norm for students at Sussex and the tempting thought of chicken and chips at 1am will have you going to The Hatch, again, and again, and again.

You’re going to get an array of stray animals in your accommodation

For East Slope it’s squirrels, for others it’s cute lil’ kitty cats.  As much as you’ve always wanted to rebel against your parents who never let you get a pet, not even a fish, please do not take in the little fluffball from outside. It’s going to eat all of your damn food.

On the flip side, the rabbits are really cute.

 

The buses are either always late or take 3 decades to reach their destination

On the rare occasion you’ll get a nice view of the emotionless people outside alongside the numbest feeling in your butt from the five-star plush seating. The bus drivers also seem to think they’re in Grand Theft Auto and take dangerously sharp turns which end up leaving you in the lap of a stranger. They do say romance isn’t dead.

The seagulls are cute… but psycho

Yeah, you’ve heard the saying. Little did you know the phrase was made specifically for seagulls who take pleasure in knocking half your burrito out your hand and giving you a big smack in the face whilst doing it (true story).

 

You will never, ever get your money’s worth on books

You may feel motivated at first when dishing out about £100 on books/textbooks/learning resources, only to realise about three days in you’re never going to use them and they only make for good Instagram posts.

 

 

 

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University of Sussex