We swabbed campus for cocaine and this is what we found

The male toilets in Falmer tested positive

We swabbed locations on campus to see if traces of coke could be found.

The male toilets of the library, East Slope Bar, Falmer Bar, and Falmer House, were all swabbed as part of our investigation.

All locations but one were completely clean, and it wasn’t even East Slope Bar.

Instead, the male SU toilets next to the common room tested positive for traces of coke.


The swab picked up no traces on the toilet but found traces near the sinks.

The other male toilets and gender neutral toilets in the SU had no trace whatsoever. We even swabbed the baby changing table.

Swabs turn immediately blue when exposed to traces of cocaine and are 95 per cent accurate.


The toilets of East Slope and Falmer Bar were swabbed at around the same time, also with no result.

The male toilets in question are located next to the common room; a place known for people playing different types of card and roleplaying games. No wonder they get so excited when they play.

SU president, Annie Pickering had this to comment: “The Falmer House toilets (as with any other toilets on campus) are cleaned and regularly checked by SEF (university contracted) cleaners and the University’s drug policy applies across campus.”