University teaches you all about who your true friends are
Just because you sat next to them in Maths doesn’t mean you’re soulmates
Since coming to university, the word “mate” has definitely become a frequent part of our vocabulary. We hear it and use it everywhere. For example, “flatmate”, “coursemate”, “roommate”, “housemate” and the all-important, “cheers mate” on a Friday night at the Students’ Union pub.
We all go through some bad days during term time. Therefore, we will always need a mate that can comfort us whilst we vent to them about all our regrets for catching up on sleep rather than work during our so-called ‘reading’ week. If we think about it, university revolves around this concept of friendship, giving us a great life lesson on it.
Just before setting off to university we have all probably experienced the joy of signing our friend’s leaver’s shirts and yearbook pages. Most of our comments were along the cheesy lines of “let’s keep in touch” or “we have to talk every day”. Looking back at them now; it is really quite nice to see such optimistic thoughts.
Unfortunately, moving to university can make us easily lose contact with our so-called BFF’s. This is one of the first lessons we learn as we enter this new chapter of our lives. At the beginning of Freshers’ Week we may have messaged our friends from back home, updating them on all the new gossip. However, as the weeks went by, we may have noticed this regular contact to deteriorate.
We have slowly become used to our new environment by joining societies, making new friends and supposedly, attending all our lectures and seminars. We have become occupied by our current surroundings and they have as well. We no longer feel the need to contact them as much as we used to.
Our separate ways into adult life can make it hard for us to find a topic we can actually talk about. How is my old friend ever going to be interested in the crazy drama my housemate got into last night? The answer is simple; they won’t. I know it may sound harsh and somewhat, selfish of us but this is one of the reality checks we face at university.
The other major life lesson we begin to gradually understand is that not everyone has to be our friend. As freshers, we all came into uni thinking every single flatmate and course mate we meet, will be our ‘bestie’. But this is definitely not the case. We have to think about it logically. Everyone is different and therefore, not all of us will become a ‘one big happy family’, as shown in the uni’s advertisement videos. Not all of your flatmates and coursemates have to be your actual “mates”. Finding those who you truly click with is what is important.
It is all based on pure luck. I know many people, including me, who are fortunate enough to consider their house/flatmates as actual mates. I also know people who don’t. If you are a Gemini and they are a Capricorn, don’t pretend that you have to be friends, because sometimes the stars just don’t align.