Why go out when campus is a better night?

A good night at East Slope is better than an average one at Shooshh. It’s just a fact.


The queues that slow the pace. The bus that sobers you up. The reps who promote the mundane events. Nights out in Brighton are just damn overhyped, especially for wide-eyed freshers like me.

If you want to soak up the clubbing atmosphere, and stumble across the beach afterwards, then sure, going out is the only option – but I’ve mostly found it kills the mood. Drinking sessions are about impromptu laughs and hazy memories, not edging infernally slowly towards the monotonous grime tunes in a freezing queue.

I’ve attempted to go clubbing at least three or four times over the past couple of weeks, and I’ve only actually managed it once, thanks to the difficulty of finding the right venue and the drudgery of making it there.

One evening, the bus took so long that gaining entry to the club was futile, sobering me up and leaving me sitting on the beach, the blistering wind stamping on my already shattered immune system (thanks, freshers’ flu).

A night on campus, on the other hand, promises so much more than you’d initially imagine.

First up, you’ve got the East Slope and Falmer bars. They’ve always got something on – particularly the Tuesday SKINT night – and can be a cheap laugh. Getting smashed without making your credit card weep – what’s not to like? It might not be as *cough* glamorous *cough* as The Arch or Wah Kiki, but if the purpose of a night out is to get wasted with your mates and meet new people, then there is frankly no point in travelling half an hour.

Think about it. Can you scoff down a bomb-ass roast in Pryzm? Nope, but you can in East Slope. Fancy some deliciously cheap Slopebite? Well, the clue is in the name. Seacider, that gloriously golden beverage, is notoriously difficult to find in Brighton pubs, but fear not, campus has you covered.

If you’re feeling brave and want to throw up through your nose, try to complete the ‘Death Row’ challenge of downing every pint on tap…

Personally, my most treasured memories of freshers’ week were the drunken expeditions around and about uni, taking shite photos and savouring the £5 Co-op wine in all its hideously bargain-bucket glory.

Sounds tragic, but so do most clubs the morning after a Brighton trek. And this is all within stumbling distance of campus accommodation. That means no soul-sapping return journeys on the N25. Bliss.

Talking of which – why not attempt the garnish of campus nightlife: the flat party.

Being crammed into one tiny uni kitchen is a sure-fire way of meeting new mates, and for some proper memories to be forged. Clubs are all well and good, but if you don’t have a hope of hearing someone over the Biebs bangers, then you can’t possibly enter those strangely deep 2am conversations. These are a rite of passage, and definitely preferable to hearing ‘Sorry’ for the billionth time.

Over all, just level with yourself. No one needs shady promoters thrusting flyers in your face, or demanding your email in the back of dingy bars. You can probably do without the blistering cold of the sea, and the searing heat of The Arch. Crawling down to the Hatch for some nachos at 2am, happy and trashy, is the way to go. You know it makes sense.