How to procrastinate at Sussex University

I’m watching Sherlock to prepare for my psychology exam tomorrow, obviously


Think about all the errands you need to run: all the washing, cleaning and tidying you’ve been meaning to do for a while, but never really got around to doing it. Why not ever so conveniently start now? Or why not ponder around the thought of doing it for a while longer?

After about an hour of deep contemplation on whether or not you should be running your errands, decide not to do them; because you weren’t going to anyway, you merely needed an excuse to think about for an hour.

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I’ve been meaning to clean up for a while now

Get hungry

Grab some food or make yourself something to eat. You know that feeling when you’re not sure if you’re hungry or just bored, yeah wait for that to kick it. This may have two possible outcomes: either you could start experimenting in the kitchen in hopes of unleashing your hidden potential of being a Masterchef, or you’ll eventually fail, accepting the fate that you’re an absolute failure.

Make way for you local Masterchef

Make way for your local Masterchef

Or, you could just head to the Co-op  and realise waiting in line just isn’t worth your time so you head back home. Either way you’ve just killed another 2-3 hours of your time. Fantastic. 

Binge watch films or shows

This is almost a given, how could you possibly procrastinate without having watched something? When your colonialism essay is due but you can’t put your finger on where Gendry Baratheon is, you obviously need to sit through all six seasons of Game Of Thrones, just to be back to square one with your theory of where he is. This technique is simple yet effective cause now you’ve set yourself back a few days as opposed to a few hours. Well done!

Afterwards, it’d be best to realise that you actually have assignments due and midterms soon so it’s best to take a quick nap before.

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Tired from all the ‘work’

Go out

Come on guys, this is basic protocol. After all you’ve done, you deserve rest. When you’ve woken up you could start complaining about all the work you have to do to everyone. Literally everyone, I’m talking parents, grandparents, friends, friends’ friends, housemates, the lot of them. After this you should get overwhelmed by the amount of work you have to do and give yourself yet another break by strolling along Brighton Beach.

Now that you’re out and about might as well marvel at Brighton, why not go shopping in The Lanes or explore the wonderful graffitis around town.
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Then you can finally go home after yet another unproductive day and realise how much shit you’re in because you haven’t read anything for your seminar, vow to yourself this wont happen again but personally see to it that it does, cause you’re a shameless lost cause.