I went to Revenge sober

No, no-one makes a move on you


Not drinking is a choice, and one that isn’t usually associated with students. But it happens and it’s becoming more and more common to go clubbing sober. However, by not drinking, you do miss out on consuming that all too important dirty pint after you’ve lost at ring of fire. I don’t drink any more, so I know how it feels.

You become a disappointment because you refuse to down that amount of alcohol, and become subject to pressuring questions on why you aren’t drinking. I’ll tell you why I don’t drink, and you’ll laugh. Usually we either just never got into it, or we had that awful night out and said “I’m not drinking anymore” and actually stuck to it.

So, what’s a night out at one of Brighton’s most popular clubs like without a few Jaegers first?

Pre-drinking is completely pointless

When I decided to stop drinking, attending pre-drinks seemed pretty ridiculous, because if you don’t drink, attending pre-drinking means downing loads of fizzy drinks in an attempt to fool your friends that alcohol is going into your system. It never works. But hey, going could be fun, it’s a night at revenge, and you’ll need pumping up.

Being in charge is just a role you’re given.

On any night out, it’s a known fact that you will be in charge of ordering the taxi. So that’s what I’ve done in the past (not lately though), I’ve also been known to making sure everyone is sober enough to make it past the bouncer, and that they climb their way up those hundreds of steps to the cloak room. And you will be a babysitter to those friends that can’t handle their drink, or on some occasions, I’ve had to vouch for them because the bouncers happen to trust the sober one. Big mistake to be honest with you.

You’re not hit on just because you’re straight

It’s a well known stereotype that if you enter a gay bar or club that you will immediately be hit on because you’re straight. That is not true. Everyone is in Revenge for the atmosphere, the smoking area, and to have a good time. Being straight doesn’t make you a chick magnet, but it’s fun watching people have this ideal in their minds. Just go and have some fun. Clubbing isn’t always about pulling.

There is always awful music at Revenge

Revenge has a fairly decent playlist (mainly chart, remixes, and throwback tunes), but how good the playlist is depends on your level of drunk. When I’ve gone in the past, and I’ve been drunk, I just didn’t care because well dancing and the decent music is determined by that fifth double vodka and coke. But being sober, you actually listen to the songs being played and I couldn’t understand any of them except when the fierce Beyonce was played (no remix is needed for her). Being sober makes you realise that the remixes aren’t great so I’ve just ended up in the corner looking awkward laughing at my friends ability to dance. Which ended up being a laugh anyway.

It’s all sticky, too sticky

When you’re hammered, it’s possible to ignore the sticky floors, and that shoes are being effectively ruined, but being sober and dealing with sticky floors is one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. I started to wonder if anyone had ever cleaned the place. I’ve actually ruined many pairs of brand new shoes, or trainers because party-goers can’t keep their drink in their glass. It’s not difficult people, just resist the urge to sway.

Mistakes still happen

The night was not without slip ups. This doesn’t just happen to drunk people, staying sober won’t keep you safe. I’ve had times, when I was single, that I’d be bored so I would just accept any guy making moves, even sober people go to bed with a 10 and wake up with a 2.  It’s either arguing with your friends that you’re not boring and actually having a good time, or arguing with some hothead about a potential suitor. Either way, mistakes happen whether drunk or sober.

Feel the pain

Anyone that has been to Revenge knows that they have three floors, and about a thousand steps just to get to the smoking area. It just so happens that alcohol works as a form of pain-killer, hence why it doesn’t hurt when you fall over, but you recognise the pain until the next morning when that glorious hangover settles in. Being sober in Revenge means feeling the pain of bad legs, back, and your head (and listening to another Taylor Swift remix) a lot quicker than usual. But don’t let that put you off. I speak from experience, power through.

The smoking area is your sanctuary

Hallelujah for the smoking area. I personally, don’t smoke, but I am so thankful for the smoking area when I go out sober. You meet all kinds of people, and just talk to them for ages because most people are so friendly and talkative when they’re drunk. In fact, I’ve met some of my closest friends, or they’ve become my closest friends just by having a chat in that smoking area.

I’ve always had good memories of Revenge’s seafront smoking area.  You get fresh air, and no drinks are allowed so it’s like being surrounded by a bunch of sober people also trying to survive the night.

Conclusion: Revenge isn’t so bad, but it’s definitely so much better when you’re hammered.