Brighton’s football team are causing me more stress than my degree

Albion could be promoted and I’m struggling to cope


Every student self-imploding in the library has a stress free activity where they can escape the torturous clutches of their degree. Trademark Sussex examples include turning Library Square into a designated smoking/vaping area and taking edgy scenic Instagram photos. For me it’s Brighton and Hove Albion.

At least, it was supposed to be. After an awful previous season, I predicted Brighton to claim an uneventful mid-table finish, enjoyable enough to spend relaxed Saturday afternoons watching with pie and pint in hand. Instead I have been given an unpredictable, anxiety-fuelled promotion battle. Brighton are three victories from promotion to the Premier League and it’s killing me.

4-0 against Bristol – the Seagulls are flying

To put it into perspective for the smokers of Sussex, imagine going for a cigarette not knowing if your lighter has fuel. The emotional stress I’m experiencing is making my degree look heavenly. I can’t write my dissertation in 90 minutes, for sure, but paragraphs of History aren’t giving me a questionably high heartbeat.

The external factors

Its so excruciating not being able to be in control. Ultimately the balance of studying and partying you do will dictate your degree. Going to the football isn’t a glamorous version of Football Manager whether you’ve won the European Cup with Accrington Stanley or not. My blood-pressure is so high that I daren’t scoff a post-match Big-Mac.

Away day mania

Travelling to away matches was once a booze and song filled adventure but Monday’s encounter in Nottingham was as anxious as being David Cameron reading the front page headlines. For 45 minutes, pains worse than treading on multiple Legos gripped me.  Brighton’s automatic promotion hopes balanced on thin ice before an injury time winner caused an eruption of passion. Certainly the library has never warranted a need to have a lie down after emotional anguish.

The fear

The worst of it is the fear of failure. Brighton, Burnley and Middlesbrough are fighting tooth and nail for automatic promotion, but for whoever finishes third not even a hairy chest will be good enough. They will have to face the challenge of the play-offs, and given Brighton have two semi-final defeats to their name in the past three seasons and that the dates coincide with dissertation deadlines, my heart isn’t healthy enough to experience such things.

Hopefully I’ll be jumping in celebration next month

As a city Brighton has everything except top flight sport. The upcoming weeks will determine if that will be the case next season but it also may hospitalise me. Though that would provide valid mitigating circumstances, wouldn’t it?