Don’t listen to the haters, Moulsecoomb is the best place to live in Brighton

Socially deprived, crime ridden and  outrageously hilly, Moulsecoomb is often bottom of the list of places to go student househunting in Brighton. But in the 16 months I have been able to label myself a “’Scoomber”, there has never been a dull moment.

The problem with Moulsecoomb is that it carries a heavier stereotype than “lady drivers” or “International Students who are good at maths’. In the eyes of those residing beyond Lewes Road Garage towards the Seafront, it is perceived quite simply as the disgusting wasteland of Brighton and Hove and the suburb most would love to see banished to the North.

But they’re wrong.

Stay classy.

In fairness, Moulsecoomb often doesn’t help itself. The defining sound of the community is the drone of the police helicopter regularly heard at night, and at sleepovers children’s ghost stories are replaced by the events of the day – which are sometimes way more scary than any ghost. Gangs of 12-year-olds linger in the shadow of the graffiti-covered tunnel attempting with great struggle to light up their cigarettes, and weird kids like these are a key source of Mouslecoomb-brand entertainment. I have overheard many a conversation on subjects so outrageous they have made me question humanity.

But, really, these things are what make Moulsecoomb such an interesting and amazing place to live.

The Moulsecoomb kids in their natural habitat

My most memorable encounter came on the night of Halloween as I approached the local off licence and this conversation took place:

‘Scoomber: Can you buy us some eggs mate?

Me: And for what reason could that possibly be?

‘Scoomber: To make a cake.

Me: That’s correct but what other ingredients do you need to make a cake?

‘Scoomber: Look at how fat I am. I eat the cake. I don’t make it.

This is why I love living in Moulsecoomb. There is not a day that goes by where you will not be entertained by a happening in the community whether it be children parading your ‘To Let’ sign down the road shouting ‘Toilet! Toilet!’, a mature lady offering you her sofa for accommodation to save on bills, or your street celebrating bonfire night every night in November and December.

The joys and pains of leaving a Moulsecoomb house

There may even be a display in March. Fancy.

The unpredictability the Mouslecoomb community provides a thrill- you’re living in the middle of a craze.

Moreover, the attractiveness of low renting prices for students means that Moulsecoomb is a gold mine of student housing. I have yet to find mates who pay less than the £88 per week that I am charged for rent (excluding bills).

For 16 months I haven’t had to fork out on a bus pass because the  University is less than 15 minutes’ walk away and the house is always tidier than Lewes Road housing, because no one wants to head away from town for predrinks.

Moulsecoomb may be a dump, but it’s our dump, and living here was a great decision.

Only in Moulsecoomb

To live in Moulsecoomb you have to accept its stereotype because, there are cases where it’s the truth. We are a bit mouldy, and a bit smothered in graffiti. Moulsecoomb isn’t the American-style Ghetto ridden with gun crime that it’s cracked up to be, but we do have a Breaking Bad enthusiast allegedly growing weed out of his caravan and handfuls of arrests with language more colourful than a vegan’s lunch.

That said, nowhere else will prepare you more for the real world. Someone will live at our gaff next year and, as long as they don’t get hit by the bottle of urine thrown from next door, I think they’ll bloody love being a ‘Scoomber as much as I do.