In defence of cycling
Why would you ever have a car in Brighton?
Cycling at Sussex is massive, with thousands of students cycling in every day, yet somehow people who take the bus or train still seem to think they’re better than cyclists.
You may sweat while cycling, but at least you burn that fat. Getting to uni sweating like a pig being chased by David Cameron may not be the one for you but just think, those journeys to and from university will probably burn the same amount of calories as one session at the gym.
If you cycle a few times a week, you can say goodbye to the high fees and creeps you find in the cardio section.
A bike means you are as free as a bird cycling on roads, on grass, on campus, off campus, on the highway, on the pavement, on a rainbow… I could go on. There are so many avenues to go down with a bike. It’s a win-win situation.
Maybe you could even get a bike for Christmas – like in all those cheesy movies where the kid asks for a bike for Christmas. Really make your parents pay for that time they forgot to call to ask how your exams went.
But, when the bike doesn’t come, and they get you a pair of socks, you could always blow your student loan on it instead. It’s still £200 less than a term bus pass if you buy a second hand one.
There are also no end from the benefits of joining the cycling community. All those awkward mornings on the bus turn into awkward races between your fellow bikers. Yes, the cycling community ranges from old guys cycling slower than you walk and those road bike wankers who seem to go about 50 times faster than your fastest.
You can stick it to the man (better known as car wankers): cycle through that car traffic effortlessly.Those car drivers look on with a smirk when its raining outside, but you know you’re the winner. Occasionally they seem to want to run you over, but every now and then you cycle past a really long traffic queue and it’s the best feeling in the world.
Put two fingers up, but don’t fall off your bike.
Cyclists know there’s a bike lane on the way to uni – yes, its not imaginary, it runs down Lewes road and no, the motorway bit isn’t frightening once you’re used to it. The bike lane may seem long and arduous and the thought of physical activity may make you want to cry, but in the words of Ron Swanson, crying is only acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
For the lazy cyclists amongst you, if you are finding the hills are a drag, you could always get a motor on the back of your bike that pumps as you’re riding and then rides for you when you want. The pedals make energy as you cycle, and it transfers to peddling for you when you want. Who needs a flipping car?
I’ve never driven, and I think drivers are overrated. These people want to get everywhere without getting a hair out of place, but in Brighton, you’re doomed to have your makeup all over your face in the rain, your gelled hair flat, your beautifully straightened locks frizzy, so why not embrace it?
Your bike offers unconditional love. Your bike promises to go wherever you go, to support you, to carry you places, to wait outside lectures for you, to take you home after a hard days work. You have a best pal, you and your bike can hold hands and walk off into the sunset.
Fuck Tinder. Bikes are bae.