Speaking aloud banned on campus as part of safe space policy

What do you mean ‘check the date’?


Following the ban on clapping at an NUS conference, a scheme which involves no speech on campus in order to create safe spaces is set to be trialled at Sussex. 

They chose Sussex due to the recent debate over potentially not allowing UKIP a society, and also due to measures which were taken last year to crack down on protesting on campus.

All lectures, seminars, and talks today will be given through the medium of interpretive dance.

Any flyers, receipts, and posters printed must be exclusively picture-based. Clip-art is preferable.

Staff in the library, at the bars, in Co-op and in the Union Shop have been instructed to mime.

And should you speak on campus, you will be subject to a £1 eco-fine, which will be paid directly and in full to green queen Caroline Lucas.

If this scheme is successful, the NUS are keen to have one speech-free week monthly on campuses nationwide, including Sussex.

Sarah, who studies English Literature, Language, and Linguistics, said: “This is one step too far. They charge us for printing, they charge us for textbooks, they even charge us to take a shit at Brighton train station, and now they want to charge me for speaking, even though I am the shit. I can’t be tamed.”

Staff, on the other hand, are more keen. We asked for their viewpoint, but obviously, they didn’t say anything.