Sussex and Brighton rivalry peaks as varsity kicks off

We just love to hate each other

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It’s common knowledge on campus that Brighton University and Sussex University hate each other with a passion. We just love to hate each other, and if you ever thought we were going to grow out of it, you thought wrong.

This week, varsity has added fuel to the fire as Brighton and Sussex battle it out on the pitch to see which uni is the sporting champion of 2015. Just why do we hate each other so much? Here are the top stereotypes which seem to be fueling our hatred…

Brighton is the ‘dumb uni’

There’s a distinctive smell on Sussex campus. It’s not houmous, it’s not social justice, it’s the waft of intellectual superiority over the people of Brighton. We’ve all heard the joke that Brighton’s library consists exclusively of colouring books. This seems to stem from entry requirements. For example, you need an AAA to do Law at Sussex, but only a BBC to do Law at Brighton.

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This Brighton student is hard at work on her dissertation

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A Brighton student attempts to defend themselves

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(Tequila) shots fired 

Sussex can’t play sports

In all the years that varsity has been going on, Brighton has won the vast majority of the time. It doesn’t matter how good Sussex ladies rugby is throughout the year, this one weekend is definitive proof that when it comes to sport, Sussex is shit. Let’s just go back to our origami.

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Brighton has confusing campuses

If you’re studying primary ed, you may never see an arts or maths student in your life. Where is the variety? Where is the spice of life? What if you never meet the one? Also, why does your Falmer campus look like a prison from the Sussex side? Ditto Moulsecoomb. Miserable architecture = miserable students.

Why? Just, why? 

Sussex only has one campus

The more, the merrier. How on earth do you cope with just one campus? Is living, studying and drinking in the space of one square mile really living? Is a 2 minute walk of shame even a walk of shame?

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Too many people, not enough space 

Brighton students have too much fun

When all you have to worry about is what to wear to PRYZM and which wine tastes the best under a fiver, it’s easy to be happy. It’s also easy to crack a smile when your freshers was headlined by Hodor and you have on-campus access to the syrupy, caffeinated, capitalist goodness that is Starbucks.

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Sussex don’t know how to have fun

If you go to Sussex, you’ll be greeted by the shittest excuse for freshers known to man. The rest of the year, you can look forward to people being offended at everything you do, making banners for protests, and being the voice of the socially deprived. Fun fun fun.

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