The boys are back! Sussex welcomes Exiles home

The boys of Sussex rugby have been somewhat misrepresented over the past few years. So they weren’t on best behaviour on tour back in 2013. They served their time, and now they’re back. And they’ve got 9 things they’d like to you know.

(Nb. No, not all of the photos in this article are strictly relevant. Yes, we have included them purely to remind you quite how much man you can fit into a single pair of shorts rugby team.)

1) Their sentence ended a year early for good behaviour/ not smuggling class A drugs to other prisoners.

2) The team is not only highly athletically skilled, they are also philanthropists. This year, their chosen charities include The British Legion, Galop (an anti-hate charity), R4UK and Wooden Spoon, both of which run Rugby based outreach programs for underprivileged children.

3) They are somewhat in need of a re-brand (if anyone would like to buy them new kit, that would be super thanks.)

Not quite so exiled anymore…

4) They are trained to be a delicately balanced combination of polite, motivated and gentlemanly. It’s basically like associating with Chuck Bass in tiny shorts. I suggest you try it.

5) The team has a policy of inclusion, meaning that “anybody is welcome to play and/or train with us, as long as they behave within our code of conduct.

“Rugby is expanding everyday and we as a club truly believe that it is no place for racism, homophobia or any sort of discrimination.” (Read: they don’t care if you dress like your mother was a Hippie and your father MC Hammer, they’ll love you no matter what. Wheee.)

6) The boys have to abide by certain rules if they want to remain in play, one of which is compulsory Get Your Legs Out Wednesdays (as we would quite like you to refer to them as please thanks.)

7) There are over 700 different puns to be made surrounding the positions ‘hooker’ and ‘tight head’ most of which I have decided to spare you.

I’m sorry madam, but it’s serious. You appear to have a StigmaTITsm

8) The boys can sing (probably. A bit.)

Insert Taylor Swift joke

9) They are reasonably convincing at acting like they object to being forced into t-shirts designed for a small journo type and her m8s.

The boys strongly believe in flexing the power of the press

Communications Officer Jonathan Harris says, “We worked really hard the whole of last year and we were pretty much on our own so it just shows how much our work has payed off now we’re finally back.

“We’re going to have to be our best behaviour, and we plan to be. The Activities Officer, Lyndsay, has been a massive help to us. Rather than saying that were bad people, she’s come along, helped us, tried out rugby a bit.

“We’re really happy she’s on board with us. We have matches every Wednesday, sometimes away and sometimes at the sports centre, and we want to have a massive crowd.”

If you want to support our boys, which you obviously do, then come down to their first match of the season at home on Wednesday 22nd October at the Falmer Sports Complex. If you stay on the 25 you don’t even have to walk up the hill. Win win.

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