Sussex vs Brighton

It’s the tale of two universities, perhaps Brighton’s biggest rivalry since the mods and rockers


It’s time to settle the debate – which is the better uni?

Who has the better freshers?

Having attended both Brighton and Sussex fresher’s last year, I can safely say Brighton wins hands down.

The only logical explanation I can think of for the Maccabees headlining Sussex fresher’s last year was the student unions attempt to appeal to the nostalgic past of wannabe hipsters.

Although credit’s due where credit’s due, the SU updated their popular culture references by about 5 years and hooked in Hodor from Game of Thrones to headline with a DJ set this September.

I’ve never seen students look so sober or bored

Which students are better?

When looking at the stereotypical Sussex student it’s almost impossible not to cringe. A £5 checked shirt from Dirty Harry, thrown together with Levi Jeans and vans so battered you know they purposely ruined them for a ‘cool’ effect.

Then you also have our generations Karl Marx, you can guarantee they will constantly talk to you about the plight of the proletariat on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, it’s not better for Brighton. Imagine a room full of twats in snapbacks and Hype vests shouting “oi oi” and “faccck off”.

You now have Audio on a Friday night and the definition of a Brighton student.

If you can stomach holding a conversation with one, they will tell you about the time they dropped 20 pills and it was ‘sick’.

Fist pumping is a necessity at Audio

Which campus is nicer?

The Sussex campus would not look amiss in midsummer murders. The idyllic campus is surrounded by nature and even the occasional dead ram.

If you can look past the terrible building designs (Arts A, anyone?) most would agree it is rather picturesque.

Brighton on the other hand…

Anyone who has seen the Mouslecoomb campus would agree it has closer resemblance to Alcatraz rather than a university campus. The drab exterior perhaps reflects the feelings of the students that realise they go to a poly.

The Watts building looks … Inviting

Which students are happier?

The complete university student guide, states Brighton students are happier scoring 4.05 whilst Sussex scored 4.03.

It is rather hard for Sussex students to comprehend happiness. Whilst they are so busy being the voice of the deprived in society, protesting and making tie dye tops. The life of a student activist is one filled with melancholy.

Although, it isn’t hard to be happier when you are most likely doing a foundation degree in events management.

If everyone’s worries were about choosing which tracksuit to wear to Oceana Wednesdays, or whether it’s acceptable to wear three pairs of fake eyelashes, I am sure the world would be a much happier place.

Down with the ‘man’

Which students are most likely to be employed?

Brighton students win this one again.

Brighton – 58.4

Sussex – 54.2

It seems listening to vinyl’s and meditation are not desirable employment skills. Bad luck for the Sussex students that spent three years becoming Buddhist and not listening to anything post 90s.

Luckily the upper middle class, mollycoddled students can most likely rely on the bank of mum and dad to support them.

Celebrating a festival they know nothing about

The verdict

Despite a better reputation and higher league table ranking it appears Brighton beats Sussex by a small margin.

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