Student ‘forgets name’ after taking new strain of MDMA

A postgraduate student from Barbados has today been diagnosed at Royal Sussex County Hospital with early onset Dementia.

Several witnesses claim that they saw the 26 year old maths student buying illegal drugs at an event held on Friday night in Brighton.

Early probes suggest that the substance bought was most likely some form of Methylenedioxymethamphetamine.

The mutant strain of MDMA, being referred to on the streets as ‘NaNa,’ contains twice the level of pure sodium. It is this alteration which drug experts are claiming gives the drug its worrying side effects.

The girl in question was admitted to hospital very early on Saturday morning. Her housemates called an emergency ambulance after they returned home and the student began to complain of losing all feeling in her face, especially her lips.

Concern rose further when she became unable to answer even the simplest of mathematical questions. Whilst she was still conscious, the student denied having ever heard of NaNa, claiming that all she had consumed that night was high-level marijuana and a half bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

Her friends claim that they lost sight of her at the busy event. They later received a text message saying that she had got home, but was sitting naked listening to the radio. It was this unusual behaviour which initially alerted them to something being amiss.

As soon as the student’s flatmates arrived home, it was plain that medical attention was necessary. The student was clearly in deep distress, desperately begging her flatmates to tell her her own name.

It was at this point that she lost control of her own balance and her own body, and the emergency services were telephoned. Even in the ambulance, all the girl could say was that she had to meet an unnamed male in town, and that she couldn’t remember her own name.

She calmed down considerably as soon as the flatmate who had been permitted to accompany her in the emergency vehicle began to rock her back and forth. Anyone seeing similar symptoms in others must take similar action immediately.

In a statement given today by the girl’s parents, they thanked the flatmates as well as the emergency services for taking the time to “figure her out,” and broke down at a suggestion from a member of the press that the girl may have “lost her mind” permanently as a result of the harmful drug.

Any students who have bought or consumed what they perceived to be any form of MDMA over the past week are urged to look out for the following symptoms in themselves and in others:

• Sudden amnesia
• Loss of balance
• Loss of regular bodily function
• Inability to comprehend the simplest of questions
• Inexplicable sadness
• Uncontrollable and involuntary repetitive speech
• Lack of facial feeling

Check the date guys…