YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US: SU candidates confirm they cannot take a joke

The collection of ways in which SU candidates told the Tab to jog on.

| UPDATED candidates election nominees reject su

So with the SU elections this week, we at the Tab thought we would reach out to the candidates to ask them the questions you wanted to know. Well it turns out they all had very different way to tell us to piss off.

Apparently student politicians don’t like the Tab, who knew? We only wanted to know the stuff the voters ought to know about their potential President, questions like:

If you choke a smurf, what colour does it go?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
And, if toast always lands butter side up, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap a piece of toast onto a cat and drop it?

Anywhoo, this is our favourite collection of the way your future leaders told the media to stop media-ing…

Rianna Gargiulo running for Welfare doesn’t like us (personally or professionally).

Daniel Greenberg running for Operations apparently is made uncomfortable easily…

Lyndsay Burtonshaw running for Activities is a “really intense wannabe student politician”.

Bree Allegretti running for Communications did some investigation of his own, before saying no.

Rob Wood running for Activities takes it a different ‘style’.

Ben Perkins running for Operations has seen too much Dragons Den.

Sophie van der Ham running for Welfare thinks being a student politician is humiliating…

Michael Segalov running for Communications got straight to the point, but he got my vote because of his lusciously thick hair.

Bethan Hunt running for Education is going to give it a miss.

Jessie Seal running for Welfare was brutally honest.

Jessie Stanbrook running for Activities was in, then she was out, presumably she will shake it all about.

Juliette Cule running for President tries to do one over on Lyndsay as she claims to be the most intense wannabe student politician there is.

Beth Mcghee running for Operations suddenly became very busy.

Gavan Harrison running for Education provided us with the most formal rejection.

Hichem Maafi running for Operations can’t be arsed. But he has my vote because his name is an anagram for ‘Hi mama chief’

Hazel Tong running for Education may or may not have been flirting with me.

Lewis Nielsen running for Education thinks we are a waste of time, but I voted for him because he called me “mate” #UniFriend

Honorary mentions must go to the plethora of other candidates who blanked us.

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