Choosing a house in Brighton: What your area says about you

Moulscoomb

Price – ££

Atmosphere – About as lively as Richard & Judy’s sex life

Likelihood of being woken up by students at 3am – Slim-to-none

The benefit of living in Moulscoomb is its close proximity to uni. However it would be an understatement to call it literally the second most boring place ever (we’ll get to the first later). Its low prices mean nothing when you have to spend the money you saved on rent on bus fare just to get the fuck out of there. Moulscoomb just screams foreign exchange student, nights in watching Midsomer Murders, and 7am jogs before lectures. Don’t be that guy.

Elm Grove

Price – £££

Atmosphere – Decent

Likelihood of being woken up by students at 3am – Possibly/probably on the weekend

Elm Grove is probably the most average student area in Great Britain. The ratio of students to locals is around 1:4. The houses are decent and the rent is normal (about £100pppw). Elm Grove really says nothing significant about you, except that you will have toned calves by the end of your stay after walking up that hill everyday. Close enough to bars and clubs to ensure a social life, and far enough from everything else to crack on with work when it matters. Elm Grove (preferably towards the bottom of the hill) can be a great place to stay providing the obvious (good housemate, good neighbours, good landlord).

Brighton centre

Price – £££££

Atmosphere – #nutty

Likelihood of being woken up by students at 3am – Every day

The sea, the clubs and the shops are on your doorstep. A great place to live if you’re not one of them sofa hermit types. Although you can find some cheaper places, you’ll probably be spending a bit more than everyone else, and the houses tend to be smaller than average. The main downside is there aren’t too many student houses so you might be far from your mates. However, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. With 24hr alcohol shops a-plenty, there is a rumour that people who live here like to drink once or twice or thrice or frice (frice?) a week. Perfect for you if you love a diet of kebabs, drugs and alcohol, and not having a long walk home from the seafront clubs is a saving grace.

London Road/Upper Lewes Road

Price – £££

Atmosphere – Lively

Likelihood of being woken up by students at 3am – Likely

Probably the best area to live, with its own shops and bars, a healthy amount of students and not too far from the town centre either. The houses are well sized and averagely priced (very similar to Elm Grove but without that fucking hill). You can train or bus it into uni, and most streets have free parking. For the boys there are enough pubs on London Road to never miss a football game and have a cracking pub-crawl on the way home. And for the girls there are some lovely cafés and a naughty little charity shop-crawl after.

Kemp Town

Price – ££££

Atmosphere – Middle class

Likelihood of being woken up by students at 3am – Once a month

I almost went to a party in Kemp Town once. Apparently it’s quite posh, quite expensive and quite bohemian. Kemp Town is home to Brighton’s gay village AND a 24hr ASDA. But it’s a bastard to get to uni. You do have the beach right by your house though and it’s the closest you can live to the town centre but also live in peace & quiet.

Hove

Price – ££££

Atmosphere – Library

Likelihood of being woken up by students at 3am – 0%

The most boring place in the Northern hemisphere.  Apparently you can’t even get Virgin Media internet there. Great for really really really mature students, like pensioners. There are almost no student houses but plenty of single room offers, so if you hate people this is the place for you.