5 Things we all miss about home

“Home is where the heart is”, it is also where the warmth is, the food is and the money is. Here are our top 5 things to be missed about home.

1)      Being able to walk around the house barefoot.

Slippers are essential for three reasons: the floors of a student house will forever be disgusting, it’s freezing, and slugs have managed to infiltrate the kitchen.

We have to wheel Tim everywhere because of the dirty floors…

2)      Having a spare light bulb.

When a light bulb blows, that’s it; the room can only be used during the daytime or with weird, eerie candle light.

3)      Not being able to see your own breath.

It should not be possible for you to see your own breath at night because you can’t afford heating. Even if you could afford it, your radiators don’t work anyway and you know by now that there is little comfort in the promise from your land lord that “Somebody will be round shortly to fix them.”

He don’t give a shit about the cold

4)      Not having neighbours who wish you were dead.

You should be able to leave the house without thinking “there is safety in numbers” as you fear a confrontation with your neighbours. They all seem to have babies, they all seem to have a fetish for moaning, and they all seem to really hate students.

5)      Being able to touch the bathtub without feeling dirtier than before you got in.

A permanent layer of grime clings to the bath, left behind by years of student residence. However it does serve other useful purposes; it can be used as a large sink when the washing up just gets too much, a spare toilet when the other is occupied, or a spare bed…

Someone had to clean that up, all for a fucking photo