A loose night out at Camel Club Huddersfield will change you forever

Hidden away in the idyllic landscape of Huddersfield, tucked down a little cobbled side street hangs a sign that if you did not know what it meant, you would never know what it meant. Camel Club is the name that will change your life, for better or for worse.

The neon pink sign is a symbolic beacon of hope for all, beckoning you into a crazy world of fun, bright lights and sticky floors. Any of your issues of the real world are left at the door as you go down the steps and pass through the carnival like entrance framed by old Victorian doors, descending into somebody’s fantasy.

The smells of cheap booze and sweat flow from the fog covered dance floor. They immediately hit you as you strut past the “wheel of fortune” drinking table on the left, the loud music now pulsating through your entire body.

You have already begun to join in with the dance as you squeeze past the toilet queue on the right and aim for one of the three bars. It is inevitable: in this club you either go hard, loose your shit and let go, or you turn around and go home.

If you don’t go hard here, you will be spending a hell of a lot of time at home. There’s not a lot else on in Huddersfield. Considering this club is open five days a week with each night being a regular theme: Mondays are ‘Funday Monday’, Wednesdays see ‘Let’s get funked’, Thursday hosts ‘thirsty Thursday’ and Friday is a ‘rock speciality’ night.

Saturday is the best night of them all, with ‘Naughty Nineties’.

The great thing about this place however is that it welcomes anybody, covering a range of genres. It even has its own dedicated RNB room that is open throughout the week.

Each day Camel Club is open it has its own crowd that can be sure to prop the bar up without fail. Everybody knows that ‘Funday Monday’ belongs to the Drama students and that ‘Naughty Nineties’ brings in the locals – not a student in sight.

But we also acknowledge that Wednesday night is game for all. The themed societies wind their nights up in here, even those who are technically (and financially) obligated to be elsewhere. Anyone can be seen necking back the nicely priced VK’s – just like a certain VK Queen who often frequents the building.

If you thought those nights discussed above were fun enough then hold on to your UV glitter paints. Just you wait until the not-so-silent Headphone Disco or the carnival nights pop up, or when the beds get turnt up into an actual ball-pool!

By the way, if you know the face paint guy is in town, girls – don’t bother wasting that Kylie makeup. You know you’re gonna be shimmering like a disco ball after he is done with the glitter. Also, don’t put clean sheets on your bed, that stuff is nasty to get off. Amongst the many freebies on offer, on Valentine’s Day at Camel, a young lady won a basket full of porn.

Somebody who is always out however, is ‘The Man’. That old man who is young enough to twerk the girls out of the way, but old and wise enough to know his body probably can’t take the hardcore alcohol no more. You can catch him throughout the week glugging down his water in between regular stints on the dance floor. ‘The Man’ shows us all that age is no barrier to fun.

If you know this club – and I don’t mean if you visited just once or twice (amateur), I mean if you are a hardcore, glitter shaking camel maniac – then you know exactly what time to get your booty shaking on the floor: between the hours of 12am and 1am are ideal. No earlier, unless your in a very large group or are skint so you need the deals (Bottle and a Bomb before 12, who can say no).

No later than half 12 otherwise you know your gonna miss out on the opportunity take centre stage with your beer pong skills. These rules obviously don’t apply to Mondays however, you get your self in that club ASAP and keep that raffle ticket safe. Somebody is getting that extra £250 at the end of the night, and it’s usually a drama student because like I said, they own that night.

If you are looking for a bit of class, let me stop you here and direct you to the grand train station Huddersfield boasts. But if your looking for a night full of falling off the stages, lounging on the sofa beds and meeting new friends in the toilets (wink wink, we all saw that video) whilst getting reet drunk – then camel club welcomes you, and so does Dixy Chicken for the after grub.

Side note, has the Christmas tree been mentioned yet? Introducing the only feminist Christmas tree around: The Sani-Tree!

Now, leave your fancy shoes at home and try with all your might to find a club that’s better then Huddersfield’s finest. I’ll wait.