An open letter to freshers in the library during exam season

You can spot them a mile off after entering through the automatic doors. The wristband frayed, but still intact on their arm, the club stamp on their hand from the night before, the dank stench from your uni halls protruding off them. It’s a fresher in the library during the exam season.

Freshers don’t belong in the library at this stressful time. In fact, they should probably be banned.

If they’re in the library it’s unlikely that they’re working. Instead, they’re discussing how drunk they were at pre-drinks, or whether they want to go to the SU or Dave’s awesome house party tonight. They’re giggling and gossiping about Sarah and Lewis’ break up over the textbook you’ve been searching for the past thirty minutes. They’re doing anything but studying.

The biggest question is what are they even doing in the library? Do we have to remind them again that first year doesn’t count? They’re taking up valuable space for those of us who need to work for our degree because our exams, coursework and dissertations actually count.

“But I have to actually get 40%” they cry – well honey, you can get that pass rate if you turn up to the exam hungover and sleep for half of it. In their one opportunity to procrastinate and not feel bad about it, they’re sat wilting away in the library like the rest of us. They should be at the park, drinking 10 Jagerbombs in a minute down at the pub, being totally classic uni. But instead they’re not; they’re in your seat, taking up one of the sparse plug sockets available, shitting on your day and forcing you to locate to another library in search for a seat.