Which Simpsons character is your uni?
This one is really spot on
We know you’ve been wondering, so we thought we’d answer the question for you.
Exeter – Ned Flanders
You wear cream chinos and cashmere jumpers and generally spend most of the time being righteous and boring. You’ve got a hell of a six pack underneath though, so it’s a shame you only get it out at SSB.
Leeds – Bart
You think of yourself as a bit of a rebel, but really you’re as middle-of-the-road as they come. Sure, you probably skateboard in Hyde Park and have a tattoo your parents don’t know about, but if you really wanted the powers that be to “eat your shorts” then you wouldn’t be spending so much time in the Laidlaw.
Leeds Beckett – Stampy
The brash, clumsy sidekick of Leeds Uni, stampy Beckett will crush everything in his path on the way to the bar at Pryzm. After all, some Beckett boys are tough because they’ve been mistreated but, like Stampy, some of them are just jerks.
Leeds Trinity – Lester
You look like Leeds, but there’s something a little bit off – maybe the lack of sunlight in the depths of Horsforth has done that to your eyes. Either way you won’t tell us, because we’re still pretty skeptical about whether you actually exist.
Durham – Lisa
You’re the middle child of UK unis: you’d love to be one of the cool kids like Manchester and Leeds, but you’d also love to be as clever as Oxbridge. instead, you’ve ended up a bookish loner who spends all their time in Klute.
Manchester – Maggie
Sky-blue scrunchies, oversized pajama-like clothing and something to chew on to stop her decimating her own jaw? Maggie Simpson is a quintessential Fallowfield girl.
Man Met – Gerald
The arch-enemy of Manchester, years of them stealing your diapers and your glory has made you loathe them with a passion. Regardless, you’ll still try on their bucket hats for size.
Salford – Pepi
Poor Salford. The bigger Manchester unis told you that whales aren’t mammals, and now they’re laughing at you. Why can’t they pick on someone their own size?
Liverpool – Marge
Big hair, whiney voice and an excellent taste in dresses – Marge certainly wouldn’t look out of place at Alma De Cuba. Despite her lofty barnet, however, she’s one of the cleverest characters – she just plays as hard as she works.
JMU and Liverpool Hope – Selma and Patty
Like Liverpool, but you drink, smoke and party more. Be warned: a couple of nights at LEVEL will leave you looking (and sounding) like this.
York – Dr Hibbert
Ah-heh-heh-heh, you got into York to study English and you’re going to be really smug about it. Shame your club photos from Revs make you look about as cool as a middle-aged man in a lab coat saying “wowwipop”.
York St John – Dr Nick
Sheffield and Sheffield Hallam – Lenny and Carl
You’re in Sheffield. Don’t pretend either of you have anything to offer.
Newcastle – Martin
You’re well-bred, you love prosecco and you’re posh enough to have thrown a few marquee parties at your home county estate. You’re also a bit of a geek, and buying a big pool for all your new mates isn’t going to convince anyone in Tup Tup that you’re not.
Northumbria – Nelson
Basically here to laugh at all the Martins up in Newcastle.
Nottingham Trent – Homer
They can’t live the button-down life like you up at Trent. They want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the Ocean Wednesdays. Sure, they might offend a few of the bluenoses at Uni of with their cocky stride and musky odors – oh, they’ll go harder than the rest of us, who cluck our tongues, stroke our beards, and say “They like fancy dress a bit too much at Trent don’t they?”
Nottingham – Herb
Trent students do to your nights out what Homer did to poor Herbs car company. At least you’ll end up less bald and a whole lot more successful than them.
Cambridge – Grandpa Simpson
Old, so old, and always rambling on about intersectional feminism or the time the kaiser stole their word for zero. You wish they would go away but they’re virtually indestructible.
Anglia Ruskin – Hans Moleman
You’re pretty unlucky – after all, the Anglia Ruskin campus isn’t a far cry from Springfield Retirement Village. Careful how you deal with the boredom, though: too many nights in the SU will leave you looking like Hans by the time you turn 31.
Oxford – Mr Burns
As they release rhetorical hounds on each other at the Union and plot to block out the sun over the rest of the country with their giant, dish-like metallic egos, one thing is pretty clear: a lot of people at Oxford are evil.
Oxford Brookes – Smithers
Totally in the shadow of their richer, more famous bosses, you secretly dream of an Oxford student flying in through the window at Bridge to rescue your basic, basic life. It never happens.
Loughborough – Duffman
With his bulging biceps and belt of bottles, Luffman is here to refill your beer. And then probably punch you in the face at FND and pull your girlfriend.
Bristol – Mr Sparkle
Scene: outside Motion, 4am.
Would you just look at the size of their fucking pupils.
UWE – The Space Coyote
Once they’ve tripped out in Stokes Croft for three straight years, all the Guatemalan insanity peppers leave many UWE students stranded in a alternate reality, where they appear to each other as giant, disembodied, floating coyote heads.
Plymouth – Rainier Wolfcastle
You’re going to need muscles like that to compete with all the squaddies.
Cardiff – Milhouse
Cardiff is the Milhouse of the Russell Group, in that the rest of them sort of always wonder why you’re there. You might have thought it was all coming up Milhouse when you got your Cardiff offer, but then you turned up and realised you’d have to spend every Monday at Glam. At least your mum thinks you’re cool, eh?
USW – Shelbyville Milhouse
You’re not the real Cardiff.
Aberystwyth – Comic Book Guy
This is what literally everyone in Aberystwyth looks like.
Bangor – Herman Hermann
The key to a night out in Bangor has always been Peep. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it.
Swansea – Barney
Belfast – Moe
Grey, self-pitying and probably most at home in the pub, Moe Syzlak’s spiritual home would be on the rain-soaked streets of the Holylands. We don’t know if he’s ever tried Bucky, but we can guarantee he’d be a fan.
Ulster – Sam and Larry
Who are you? And why do you always look so sad?
Chester – Snake
If it all goes wrong your plan B is a life of crime.
UEA – Blinky
Let’s be honest, the fish in Norwich definitely have three eyes.
Southampton – Radioactive Man
Southampton looks like the result of nuclear fallout, and you’re their mighty hero. As in, you’re literally the only thing the entire city has to offer.
Solent – Fall Out Boy
Like Southampton, but smaller and weaker.
Edinburgh – Principal Skinner
You’re more uptight than everyone else in Scotland and you really struggle to keep up with your rowdier colleagues.
Edinburgh Napier – Lunchlady Doris
You’ve definitely been drunk enough to eat beef hearts, horse testicles, and shredded newspaper. Hell, you’d chew on a gym mat if you’d had enough Jägerbomb’s and the price was right.
St Andrews – Mrs Krabappel
You’re Edinburgh’s sarcy, bitchy other half. You constantly tease them, argue with them and bring them down, but you’ll always end up in bed with them at the end of the day.
Stirling – Skinner’s Mother
Edinburgh find Stirling embarrassing. The feeling is mutual.
Glasgow – Superintendent Chalmers
Your entire life is devoted to shouting at Edinburgh.
Strathclyde – Leopold
Has anyone ever told you you’re really fucking scary?
Aberdeen – Groundskeeper Willie
You’re (most likely) ginger, you (most likely) wear a kilt and you (definitely) live in the absolute arse-end of nowhere. You’re a walking, strange-talking sterotype and you’re proud of it.
Heriot-Watt – Apu
With a degree from Heriot-Watt, you’re going to end up working in retail faster than you can say Nahasapeemapetilon.
Warwick – Lyle Lanley
Warwick lures you in with the promise of a genuine, bona fide, electrified, state-of-the-art campus – but, like Lanley’s scams, it’s all a lie. Let alone a monorail, there’s no transport whatsoever – and Leamington Spa is so desolate it may as well be Ogdenville or North fucking Haverbrook.
Birmingham – Fat Tony
You’re the overlord of Birmingham, and you rule above Aston and BCU like a benevolent godfather. Why the name? Well, Rooster House hasn’t exactly been kind to your waistline.
BCU – Johnny Tightlips
Literally, no-one knows anything about BCU – who goes there, what they do, or why. It’s like they’ve told us all to go suck a lemon.
Aston – Frankie the Squealer
…Aston, on the other hand, won’t fucking shut up. Yes, we get it – you’re not a poly. We still don’t care.
Bath – Santa’s Little Helper
Yeah, Bath are well regarded – but like Santa’s Little Helper being part of the Simpsons family, they’re one of the less memorable members.
Bath Spa – Snowball II
Over 20 years of episodes/over three years at Bath Spa and not a single compelling storyline about you.
Kent and CCCU – Kang and Kodos
The concept of you is alien to anyone outside of Canterbury.
All exchange students – Uter
You’re going to be sitting alone in the cafeteria.
Everyone on their year abroad – The stowaway koala
Poor locals, someone should warn them you’re coming.
Sussex – The sea captain
Your real name is probably something posh like Horatio McCallister, but the “experimental” aura of Sussex has turned you into a word-slurring haggard pirate with glassy eyes. Yaaaargh, have ye got any ketamine?
Brighton – Mr Pinchy
You couldn’t go to the snobby boarding school which is the University of Sussex, so now you’re being looked after by Brighton. Don’t be surprised if they accidently cook you in a bath.
UCL – Krusty the clown
You’re a bit washed up compared to what you used to be, and it’s getting harder to laugh when Imperial keep beating you in the league tables. At least you know how to nail a full face of makeup for a night at Loop.
King’s – Sideshow Bob
The people at King’s are poetic, posh and extremely well-spoken. They’re also extremely bitter to the point of psychopathy about the spirited little scamps who are above them in the league tables: especially when UCL’s Varsity victories are about as numerous as the rakes you keep treading on.
UAL – Sideshow Mel
A styrofoam bone, some green hair dye and a grass skirt do not a degree make.
Imperial – Troy McClure
Students at Imperial are similar to Troy McClure in three ways: they’re both good-looking in an overly hair-gelled sort of way, they both have a taste for pastel jumpers and white chinos, and they’re both completely dead behind the eyes.
Central University of London – Bumblebee Man
You get into central and you think you’re going to be the next Mark Rylance, the next Helen Mirren. You end up in a giant bee costume selling car insurance. And that’s the highlight of your career.
London Met – Mr Teeny
Look, London Met learnt to rollerskate!
LSE – Hank Scorpio
While you’re out buying hammocks, LSE graduates with pockets full of sugar are taking over the world, one financial institution at a time.
Royal Holloway – Sherri and Terri
RoHo is full of sweet girls who are utterly indistinguishable from each other.
SOAS – Number one
Sinister, exclusive and rarely heard from. Would you be surprised if SOAS was secretly running the entire world?
Royal College of Music – Bleeding Gums Murphy
You both play instruments. That’s all we had for this. Sue us.
UWL – Luigi
The University of West London, like Luigi, is only known for catering. Everything else they do is a complete mystery.
Queen Mary – Shary Bobbins
Surface appearance: fancy, well-tailored, the very best of London. But hang on a second? Queen Mary isn’t exactly UCL is it? And Shary Bobbins isn’t exactly Mary Poppins is she?
Royal Agricultural College – Cletus
It’s full of slack-jawed yokels from suspiciously big families.
London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine – Jub Jub
A really minor character with a weird and kinda stupid name.
Goldsmiths – Mayor Quimby
Scheming, nefarious, untrustworthy – Goldsmiths does the kind of politics corrupt Mayor Joe Quimby would be proud of.
Herts – Handsome Pete
You pretend you’re a London uni in the same way that Luton’s airport calls itself “London Luton”, but compare Hatfield to UCL and you end up with something much wonkier looking.
New College of Humanities – Lionel Hutz
For a mere £54,000 a year you can study at London’s New College of Humanities, where you’ll get lectured by superstar academics Niall Ferguson, Richard Dawkins and A.C. Grayling. Except that’s a lot of money to pay, especially when you consider that they give about two lectures each a year. It’s all a little bit dodgy isn’t it? It’s all a little bit briefcase full of shredded newspaper, a little bit Lionel Hutz.
Royal Veterinary College – The Veterinarian
Coventry – Gil
Like Gil you’re unlucky (you’ve ended up in Coventry) and like Gil you’re going to be unsuccessful (you’ve ended up in Coventry).
Lincoln – Frank Grimes
You’re so angry and bitter about the constant bad press that Lincoln gets (we’re looking at you, Inbetweeners) that you’re just about ready to snap. You want them to see that you’re a hard worker, but they’re too busy giving jobs to dogs and degrees to people smarter than you.
Leicester – Chief Wiggum
Leicester’s dangerous – you’ll probably need a licensed firearm to navigate Evington, and too many VKs at the O2 are going to wreak havoc on your waistline. At least you’ll get a degree at the end of it, even if your 2:2 from Leicester looks about as good as Wiggum after one too many donuts.
DMU – Lou and Eddie
You’re the dumber version of Leicester (somehow), but at least you’ve got your macho bromances to keep you happy.
Falmouth – Jay Sherman
Good god it’s tiring having a guy from Falmouth around. Did they ever tell you why Alejandro González Iñárritu’s early work is superior to The Revenant? Did they explain why Barry Lyndon is actually Stanley Kubrick’s best film? They probably did tbh. Listening to them is like listening to Jay Sherman’s long, loud burp – on top of all his irritating film criticism.
Kingston – Yes guy
You’ll say yes to anything – even an offer from Kingston.
Lancaster and UCLan – Itchy and Scratchy
Your rivalry is entertaining, but no-one would actually be able to tell which one’s which if you just gave us the names.
Reading – Wendell
Always looking lost, confused and slightly ill – it’s tough spending three years in Reading, as tough as poor Wendell finds life at Springfield Elementary school.
Hull – Ralph
Hull fail English? That’s unpossible.