Which Simpsons character is your uni?

We know you’ve been wondering, so we thought we’d answer the question for you.

Exeter – Ned Flanders

You wear cream chinos and cashmere jumpers and generally spend most of the time being righteous and boring. You’ve got a hell of a six pack underneath though, so it’s a shame you only get it out at SSB.

Leeds – Bart

You think of yourself as a bit of a rebel, but really you’re as middle-of-the-road as they come. Sure, you probably skateboard in Hyde Park and have a tattoo your parents don’t know about, but if you really wanted the powers that be to “eat your shorts” then you wouldn’t be spending so much time in the Laidlaw.

Leeds Beckett – Stampy

The brash, clumsy sidekick of Leeds Uni, stampy Beckett will crush everything in his path on the way to the bar at Pryzm. After all, some Beckett boys are tough because they’ve been mistreated but, like Stampy, some of them are just jerks.

Leeds Trinity – Lester

You look like Leeds, but there’s something a little bit off – maybe the lack of sunlight in the depths of Horsforth has done that to your eyes. Either way you won’t tell us, because we’re still pretty skeptical about whether you actually exist.

Durham – Lisa

You’re the middle child of UK unis: you’d love to be one of the cool kids like Manchester and Leeds, but you’d also love to be as clever as Oxbridge. Instead, you’ve ended up a bookish loner who spends all their time in Klute.

Manchester – Maggie

Sky-blue scrunchies, oversized pajama-like clothing and something to chew on to stop her decimating her own jaw? Maggie Simpson is a quintessential Fallowfield girl.

Man Met – Gerald

The arch-enemy of Manchester, years of them stealing your diapers and your glory has made you loathe them with a passion. Regardless, you’ll still try on their bucket hats for size.

Salford – Pepi

Poor Salford. The bigger Manchester unis told you that whales aren’t mammals, and now they’re laughing at you. Why can’t they pick on someone their own size?

Liverpool – Marge

Big hair, whiney voice and an excellent taste in dresses – Marge certainly wouldn’t look out of place at Alma De Cuba. Despite her lofty barnet, however, she’s one of the cleverest characters – she just plays as hard as she works.

JMU and Liverpool Hope – Selma and Patty

Like Liverpool, but you drink, smoke and party more. Be warned: a couple of nights at LEVEL will leave you looking (and sounding) like this.

York – Dr Hibbert

Ah-heh-heh-heh, you got into York to study English and you’re going to be really smug about it. Shame your club photos from Revs make you look about as cool as a middle-aged man in a lab coat saying “wowwipop”.

York St John – Dr Nick

Sheffield and Sheffield Hallam – Lenny and Carl

You’re in Sheffield. Don’t pretend either of you have anything to offer.

Newcastle – Martin

You’re well-bred, you love prosecco and you’re posh enough to have thrown a few marquee parties at your home county estate. You’re also a bit of a geek, and buying a big pool for all your new mates isn’t going to convince anyone in Tup Tup that you’re not.

Northumbria – Nelson

Basically here to laugh at all the Martins up in Newcastle.

Nottingham Trent – Homer

They can’t live the button-down life like you up at Trent. They want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the Ocean Wednesdays. Sure, they might offend a few of the bluenoses at Uni of with their cocky stride and musky odors – oh, they’ll go harder than the rest of us, who cluck our tongues, stroke our beards, and say “They like fancy dress a bit too much at Trent don’t they?”

Nottingham – Herb

Trent students do to your nights out what Homer did to poor Herb’s car company. At least you’ll end up less bald and a whole lot more successful than them.

Cambridge – Grandpa Simpson

Old, so old, and always rambling on about something or the time the kaiser stole their word for zero. You wish they would go away but they’re virtually indestructible.

Anglia Ruskin – Hans Moleman

You’re pretty unlucky – after all, the Anglia Ruskin campus isn’t a far cry from Springfield Retirement Village. Careful how you deal with the boredom, though: too many nights in the SU will leave you looking like Hans by the time you turn 31.

Oxford – Mr Burns

As they release rhetorical hounds on each other at the Union and plot to block out the sun over the rest of the country with their giant, dish-like metallic egos, one thing is pretty clear: a lot of people at Oxford are evil.

Oxford Brookes – Smithers

Totally in the shadow of their richer, more famous bosses, you secretly dream of an Oxford student flying in through the window at Bridge to rescue your basic, basic life. It never happens.

Loughborough – Duffman

With his bulging biceps and belt of bottles, Luffman is here to refill your beer. And then probably punch you in the face and pull your girlfriend.

Bristol – Mr Sparkle

Scene: outside Motion, 4am.

Would you just look at the size of their fucking pupils.

UWE – The Space Coyote

Once they’ve tripped out in Stokes Croft for three straight years, all the Guatemalan insanity peppers leave many UWE students stranded in a alternate reality, where they appear to each other as giant, disembodied, floating coyote heads.

Plymouth – Rainier Wolfcastle

You’re going to need muscles like that to compete with all the squaddies.

Cardiff – Milhouse

Cardiff is the Milhouse of the Russell Group, in that the rest of them sort of always wonder why you’re there. You might have thought it was all coming up Milhouse when you got your Cardiff offer, but then you turned up and realised you’d have to spend every Wednesday at the SU. At least your mum thinks you’re cool, eh?

USW – Shelbyville Milhouse

You’re not the real Cardiff.

Aberystwyth – Comic Book Guy

This is what literally everyone in Aberystwyth looks like.

Bangor – Herman Hermann

The key to a night out in Bangor has always been Peep. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it.

Swansea – Barney

Belfast – Moe

Grey, self-pitying and probably most at home in the pub, Moe Syzlak’s spiritual home would be on the rain-soaked streets of the Holylands. We don’t know if he’s ever tried Bucky, but we can guarantee he’d be a fan.

Ulster – Sam and Larry

Who are you? And why do you always look so sad?

UEA – Blinky

Let’s be honest, the fish in Norwich definitely have three eyes.

Southampton – Radioactive Man

Southampton looks like the result of nuclear fallout, and you’re their mighty hero. As in, you’re literally the only thing the entire city has to offer.

Solent – Fall Out Boy

Like Southampton, but smaller and weaker.

Edinburgh – Principal Skinner

You’re more uptight than everyone else in Scotland and you really struggle to keep up with your rowdier colleagues.

Edinburgh Napier – Lunchlady Doris

You’ve definitely been drunk enough to eat beef hearts, horse testicles, and shredded newspaper. Hell, you’d chew on a gym mat if you’d had enough Jägerbomb’s and the price was right.

St Andrews – Mrs Krabappel

You’re Edinburgh’s sarcy, bitchy other half. You constantly tease them, argue with them and bring them down, but you’ll always end up in bed with them at the end of the day.

Stirling – Skinner’s Mother

Edinburgh find Stirling embarrassing. The feeling is mutual.

Glasgow – Superintendent Chalmers

Your entire life is devoted to shouting at Edinburgh.

Aberdeen – Groundskeeper Willie

You’re (most likely) ginger, you (most likely) wear a kilt and you (definitely) live in the absolute arse-end of nowhere. You’re a walking, strange-talking sterotype and you’re proud of it.

Heriot-Watt – Apu

Way more fun and friendlier than your other Edinburgh unis. 

Warwick – Lyle Lanley

Warwick lures you in with the promise of a genuine, bona fide, electrified, state-of-the-art campus – but, like Lanley’s scams, it’s all a lie. Let alone a monorail, there’s no transport whatsoever – and Leamington Spa is so desolate it may as well be Ogdenville or North fucking Haverbrook.

Birmingham – Fat Tony

You’re the overlord of Birmingham, and you rule above Aston and BCU like a benevolent godfather. Why the name? Well, Rooster House hasn’t exactly been kind to your waistline.

BCU – Johnny Tightlips

Literally, no-one knows anything about BCU – who goes there, what they do, or why. It’s like they’ve told us all to go suck a lemon.

Bath – Santa’s Little Helper

Yeah, Bath are well regarded – but like Santa’s Little Helper being part of the Simpsons family, they’re one of the less memorable members.

Bath Spa – Snowball II

Over 20 years of episodes/over three years at Bath Spa and not a single compelling storyline about you.

Kent and CCCU – Kang and Kodos

The concept of you is alien to anyone outside of Canterbury.

All exchange students – Uter

You’re going to be sitting alone in the cafeteria.

Everyone on their year abroad – The stowaway koala

Poor locals, someone should warn them you’re coming.

Sussex – The sea captain

Your real name is probably something posh like Horatio McCallister, but the “experimental” aura of Sussex has turned you into a word-slurring haggard pirate with glassy eyes. Yaaaargh, have ye got any ketamine?

Brighton – Mr Pinchy

You couldn’t go to the snobby boarding school which is the University of Sussex, so now you’re being looked after by Brighton. Don’t be surprised if they accidently cook you in a bath.

UCL – Krusty the clown

You’re a bit washed up compared to what you used to be, and it’s getting harder to laugh when Imperial keep beating you in the league tables. At least you know how to nail a full face of makeup for a night at Loop.

King’s – Sideshow Bob

The people at King’s are poetic, posh and extremely well-spoken. They’re also extremely bitter to the point of psychopathy about the spirited little scamps who are above them in the league tables: especially when UCL’s Varsity victories are about as numerous as the rakes you keep treading on.

UAL – Sideshow Mel

A styrofoam bone, some green hair dye and a grass skirt do not a degree make.

Imperial – Troy McClure

Students at Imperial are similar to Troy McClure in three ways: they’re both good-looking in an overly hair-gelled sort of way, they both have a taste for pastel jumpers and white chinos, and they’re both completely dead behind the eyes.

Central University of London – Bumblebee Man

You get into central and you think you’re going to be the next Mark Rylance, the next Helen Mirren. You end up in a giant bee costume selling car insurance. And that’s the highlight of your career.

London Met – Mr Teeny

Look, London Met learnt to rollerskate!

LSE – Hank Scorpio

While you’re out buying hammocks, LSE graduates with pockets full of sugar are taking over the world, one financial institution at a time.

Royal Holloway – Sherri and Terri

RoHo is full of sweet girls who are utterly indistinguishable from each other.

Royal College of Music – Bleeding Gums Murphy

You both play instruments. That’s all we had for this. Sue us.

UWL – Luigi

The University of West London, like Luigi, is only known for catering. Everything else they do is a complete mystery.

Queen Mary – Shary Bobbins

Surface appearance: fancy, well-tailored, the very best of London. But hang on a second? Queen Mary isn’t exactly UCL is it? And Shary Bobbins isn’t exactly Mary Poppins is she?

Royal Agricultural College – Cletus

It’s full of slack-jawed yokels from suspiciously big families.

London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine – Jub Jub

A really minor character with a weird and kinda stupid name.

Goldsmiths – Mayor Quimby

Scheming, nefarious, untrustworthy – Goldsmiths does the kind of politics corrupt Mayor Joe Quimby would be proud of.

Herts – Handsome Pete

You pretend you’re a London uni in the same way that Luton’s airport calls itself “London Luton”, but compare Hatfield to UCL and you end up with something much wonkier looking.

Royal Veterinary College – The Veterinarian

Coventry – Gil

Like Gil you’re unlucky (you’ve ended up in Coventry) and like Gil you’re going to be unsuccessful (you’ve ended up in Coventry).

Lincoln – Frank Grimes

You’re so angry and bitter about the constant bad press that Lincoln gets (we’re looking at you, Inbetweeners) that you’re just about ready to snap. You want them to see that you’re a hard worker, but they’re too busy giving jobs to dogs and degrees to people smarter than you.

Leicester – Chief Wiggum

You’ll need all the tools you’ve got to tackle Evington, and too many VKs at the O2 are going to wreak havoc on your waistline. At least you’ll get a degree at the end of it, even if your 2:2 from Leicester looks about as good as Wiggum after one too many donuts.

Falmouth – Jay Sherman

Good god it’s tiring having a guy from Falmouth around. Did they ever tell you why Alejandro González Iñárritu’s early work is superior to The Revenant? Did they explain why Barry Lyndon is actually Stanley Kubrick’s best film? They probably did tbh. Listening to them is like listening to Jay Sherman’s long, loud burp – on top of all his irritating film criticism.

Kingston – Yes guy

You’ll say yes to anything – even an offer from Kingston.

Lancaster and UCLan – Itchy and Scratchy

Your rivalry is entertaining, but no-one would actually be able to tell which one’s which if you just gave us the names.

Reading – Wendell

Always looking lost, confused and slightly ill – it’s tough spending three years in Reading, as tough as poor Wendell finds life at Springfield elementary school.

Hull – Ralph

Hull fail English? That’s unpossible.