There’s nothing wrong with incestuous friendship groups

Better the devil you know

My friendship group is beyond incestuous. In fact, after WhatsApping a group of close friends to tell them I’d be writing this article, we soon realised that 6/8 of us, at some point, had dangerously teetered out of the friendzone.

Within our group of eight, there have been many a drunken kiss and even one long-term relationship.  But ‘The Dream Team’, as we refer to ourselves in an ashamedly tragic manner, are still very good friends, despite the slobbery kisses and potentially regrettable sex. And it’s hardly surprising that we are. After all, ‘Friendcest’ is the way to go if you want a healthy friendship group.

Just one of those nights

Because in reality, the odd snog or unexpected hook-up massively improves the dynamic of things rather than messing it up. First and foremost, it breaks down a lot of barriers which can otherwise be impenetrable for years and years. So many people think sleeping with your mates causes awkward sexual tension and means you can’t look at the other person in the eye. But it can actually makes friendship groups so much more comfortable. Nothing makes you feel totally at ease around a group of people quite like having seen them naked or knowing about that freckle on their bum.

With new friends it can sometimes feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying desperately hard not to offend them or make them feel uncomfortable. It can often take years to develop the sort of friendship whereby anything goes and you can totally relax in front of your friends.

A cheeky midnight kiss, or even more extreme, a flirty fondle, can rocket you straight into the territory whereby practically anything which is said or done is totally acceptable. Discussion of third nipples or body hair become totally normal things to bring up over a pint. Overcoming certain boundaries via the route of unplanned intimacy creates a friendship situation which can otherwise take years and years to develop.

Friendcest goalz

And besides, if there are any remaining scraps of awkwardness which do happen remain, these can be exploited and used as hilarious ammunition in group piss-taking of each other. The “do you remember when Freddie and Emily got off” card can always be used as your weapon of choice in any WhatsApp group war. It’s hard to feel really close with a group when the best jokes you have with each other simply involve that time someone threw up or how Daisy always goes home every weekend.

But as well as inevitably proving the dynamic of a friendship group, it is also undeniably convenient. You’re going to all the same parties anyway. If all else fails, save yourself unnecessary graft and stick to what you know. Yes, the saying goes that there are plenty more fish in the sea – but save yourself the time and effort and simply go fishing in your very own pond. And, of course, there’s loads of chat about never shitting where you eat, but the ease and proximity of the loo to the kitchen in a studio flat is far more convenient for the average lazy student.

No longer in the friendzone

So if you’re moaning that your flatmates have hooked up, or that your two best mates have started getting off on nights out when they can’t pull, open your eyes a little. Convention might dictate that this is a slippery slope towards an unbearably uncomfortable situation but, in actuality, you’ll all be happily shaving each other’s backs and gleefully getting off at the end of a house party before you know it.