General elections are a big deal and there’s one on Thursday

You should probs decide who you’re voting for.

Stirling Uni has a bit of a reputation for being political. Like the time in 1972 we were all hooligans who were shouting at the Queen or something.

Now we’re much more likely to be shouting about nuclear weapons, with the only Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament group in the Scotland. No biggie.

One of our own is even STANDING in the election! PPE student Alasdair Ibbotson is the Green hopeful in the Alyn and Deeside constituency. You can’t vote for him though because it’s in Wales.

The student vote is an important one in a constituency like Stirling. Also people died for your right to vote and all those other things you were told in Standard Grade Modern Studies.

So here’s our rundown of Stirling’s general election hopefuls.

Johanna Boyd, Scottish Labour

Stirling has been a Labour seat since Anne McGuire, left, ousted Tory Secretary of State for Scotland Michael Forsyth in 1997.

She’s had enough of this parliament malarkey though and so Johanna, right, is our Labour candidate.

High-flyer Johanna was a barrister in London before coming back to Scotland where she was the first ever female leader of Stirling Council, as well as the youngest.

Key policies: She wants to ban zero-hours contracts and bump the minimum wage up to £8 an hour, which is 4.7 portions of Union curly fries. Housing is also high up on her list of priorities, so the Geddes petition is right up her street.

Our prediction: The polls aren’t being kind to Johanna, but they’re not being kind to anyone who isn’t Nicola Sturgeon at the moment. She’s harmless enough but it’s just not her year.

Vote for them if: You kinda fancy Ed Miliband and want to see more of his plasticine face on your telly (no judgement here).

Stephen Kerr, Scottish Conservative and Unionist

Dundee-born butcher’s son Stephen lives in Bridge of Allan, works in international business and is old/white/male. Pretty standard Tory fare.

He went to Stirling Uni though so he knows what it’s like to get lost in Cottrell after 5pm and fear for your life, which is something.

Key policies: The ex-banker wants to keep on trying to cut the deficit and get employment on the rise. And the clue is in the name: stop the SNP trying to break up the Union.

Our prediction: Fair enough, at one time Stirling was a Tory constituency. But those days are gone and there’s a better chance of getting a booth in Underground than Stephen being victorious.

Vote for them if: You don’t care what your family, friends and colleagues think of you.

Steven Paterson, SNP

Steven with a V is another Stirling grad. He’s a local: born here, raised here and now he’s on the council. He’s well known among students cause he’s always in the pub – you’re pretty much guaranteed to bump into him in Kilted Kangaroo on a Saturday night, suited and booted, looking like this election is easier for him than the first year Our Blue Planet module.

Key policies: Steven is against Trident and for the NHS. He wants to use the SNP’s power at Westminster to deliver on those promises from the referendum and, obviously independence is the ultimate goal.

Our prediction: There’s a reason he’s smiling with a pint on a Saturday night and it’s because a win is pretty much in the bag for him.

Vote for them if: You want to be able to have a drink with your MP without pretending to be racist.

Mark Ruskell, Scottish Greens

Mark is an election veteran – he’s tried to be an MP twice before and has stood in the Holyrood elections every single time. He was even elected once. But just once. Currently a Councillor for Dunblane and Bridge of Allan, Mark is an all round good guy who has worked in renewable energy, social enterprise and the voluntary sector.

Key policies: Anti-austerity, job creation, and the environment – duh. He also wants to be part of the move away from old politics and help break the political mould.

Our prediction: Despite the left-leaning student population it won’t be third time lucky for Mark. Sorry.

Vote for them if: You’re a keen recycle-r who is still hopeful about democracy despite first past the post.

Elisabeth Wilson, Scottish Liberal Democrats

Dr Wilson used to be a social worker before returning to uni to teach. She’s been a school governor too. She’s the oldest candidate running in Stirling but it doesn’t stop her getting her hands dirty as a founder member of a tree planting group which sounds so Bridge of Allan.

Key policies: Elisabeth will fight for a better deal for the rural parts of Stirling especially concerning herself with the closure of post offices. She’s also into getting young people into apprenticeships and colleges.

Our prediction: Students don’t like the Lib Dems because of tuition fees and locals don’t like the Lib Dems cause of the Tories, so it doesn’t look good.

Vote for them if: £36,000 worth of debt seems like a fair exchange for eight hours of contact time a week.