Flat-hunting is awful but we’ll make you a pro

You deserve better than Geddes babe


It’s that time of year when all the first years are panicking about where they’ll be hanging their Che Guevara posters come August. Unfortunately for you that means the good flats were bagged in February when estate agents fobbed off their over-priced and under-glazed properties to the keenest of beans.

But not to worry – there are still plenty of flats out there, and there will be one for you. Whether or not it’s nice depends.

We’re finally getting out of this place!

The first step in a successful flat hunt is choosing your new flat mates carefully. If they piss you off regularly at the pub then you’re probs going to get very sick of seeing their face in your kitchen every day. Likewise, if you prefer Netflix and Domino’s to Lambrini and Fubar, it’s maybe best to leave your constantly drunk neighbour in Bruce Street where she belongs.

Flats being mates is the dream.

Once you’ve assembled a squad you’re 80 per cent sure you can put up with for another year, it’s time to hit up Gumtree. Letting directly from a landlord rather than through a letting agency will likely save you a bomb on your rent.

Be wary of landlords that don’t want to go through the proper channels though – a HMO is, unfortunately, absolutely essential so don’t let a 40 year old creep convince you to pretend you and your mate are a couple (unless you’re willing to go to outrageous lengths in the name of grafting).

Agencies have their advantages too and most will set up a few viewings if you tell them what kind of place you’re after. This cuts down your legwork and gives you more time to write that essay….or perfect your Compliments & Crushes game.

No more Zoopla pls.

The location of your new shag-pad is also important. Would you rather be close to campus or Spoons? Can you cope with the noise from locals at Fubar on a Saturday night if it means a short stumble home after Tiki Thursday?

Bruce Street is close to Tesco and tends to be a bit cheaper, but if you really want to save your hard-earned SAAS then consider places a bit further out. A two-bed in St Ninians or Raploch can easily save you £100 a month compared to a similar place in town. Just don’t expect anyone to come to you for pres.

Before you go to a viewing, come up with an idea of things that are absolutely non-negotiable for your flat. Some standard things to expect in the 21st century are double-glazing, central heating and a washing machine. Living in a hole can be fun but some things are necessary to avoid – like dying.

At the viewing ask loads of questions – this isn’t a time to be shy. If it looks like damp, it’s damp. Ask about the area, the neighbours, any break-ins the place has had, the bills, and the tenancy agreement. If the current tenants are around (they are almost definitely going to be in their pajamas making the experience more awkward than it has to be) ask them stuff too. If the place is shit and they’re half decent people, they will tell you.

Once you’re happy with the place you’ve found, get someone wiser than you to look over the lease before you sign it. Your parents are probably your guarantors too so they can tell you if there’s anything dodgy or if you’re being ripped off. Don’t sign anything until you’re 100 per cent certain – a lease is a legally binding contract and lawsuits are no fun, despite what your 30 hours of watching Suits has taught you.

Now the lease is signed and the deposit paid, you’re sorted for next semester and can get on with the important stuff, like planning your flat-warming. Happy hunting.