All you need for Valentine’s Day is the campus shop

But you might be dumped on the spot


Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and you are actually organised this year, right?

You’ve got a table booked at that place with the cocktails, front row seats to 50 Shades and you even remembered to pick up a card. Man of the year or what?

But no worries if you haven’t, the campus gift shop is brimming with stuff your bae will love. Why trek all the way into Thistles at the weekend, when there’s a treasure trove just a five minute walk from your lecture hall.

There’s no chance of rejection tomorrow night if you come bearing any of these gifts…

Obviously, a card is the bare minimum for any relationship longer than eight hours. Depending on how wet you are, you might want a soppy card that declares your undying love, or you could play it a bit cooler and go for something simple but sweet. Either way, this selection has you covered.

Everyone loves a pair of short shorts. Your bae can show off her great glutes down at the weight room and you’ll be the envy of all the sports science students.

So things are getting serious, and you’re thinking you might introduce your man to your parents when they come to pick you up for mid-semester? This smart polo is the gift that keeps on giving. He looks smart when he meets your folks, and they don’t think he’s a Lad, capital L, and pull you out of uni.

A teddy bear is a Valentine’s day classic and for good reason. The little Stirling Uni jumpers these bears are sporting will be a lovely reminder of all the romantic mistakes your bae made while at uni <3

If you’re in the bad books this weekend then it’s going to have to be something from the glass cabinet. Sure, it’ll cost you, but unless you want to be spending Saturday night alone with your right hand for company, you better break out your wallet.

Let your loved one know you’re ready to take the next step in your relationship with a child sized Stirling Uni t-shirt, so your baba can represent while you carry him from Pathfoot to Cottrell.

Nothing says “classy” like a nice tie. He gets to pretend he’s a rugby lad by day and tie you up at night.

And if you’re really stuck, there’s always the classic Stirling Uni hoodie. Even if they already have one, the massive colour selection makes sure it’s always a good shout. Why not go for a pink or red one for the special day?

The campus gift shop is just a pack of condoms away from being a one stop shop this Valentine’s Day.