Uni rakes in 160k from parking charges

Thieving Stirling University raised over £162,000 in parking permits and fines last academic year. 

Income from parking permits over the 2013/14 academic period amounted to £147,092.37, a figure which roughly translates as too fucking much.

Uni chiefs also succesfully reprised the role of Fagan with their parking wardens managing to pick a pocket or two as income from controversial private parking fines reached £15,014.10. This is despite many students refusing to pay the fines.

The cost of an individual parking permit for a year at Stirling is now £150 for students, with fines ranging between £60 and £30 depending on how quickly you get your wallet out and throw money at them.

https://twitter.com/AndrewCraven_/status/539164126283833345

A spokesman of the university said: “The revenue collected from all aspects of University car parking operations is used to cover the cost of providing the parking service” before laughing hysterically and rolling around in a pile of money.

But some students are struggling to see the justification for the high prices.

Third year psychology student and car owner Emily Bell said: “It’s expensive enough for the students who are living in halls as they’ve moved away from home and if they have a car here then it’s an extra £150 on top of expensive rent.

“In terms of the parking fines a lot of the time the meters where you buy the tickets are out of order so I don’t really know how the Uni can justify giving parking tickets in these instances!”

The University are asking for too much from students

Journalism student Kristi Davidson agreed: “I just think it’s a bit ridiculous how much they are. ” realise they obviously have to have this kind of system in place but for it to be the price it is isn’t fair, we’re students and the majority of us aren’t in the position to fork out that kind of money.”

“Then if you don’t pay within 2 weeks it doubles- it’s a joke. Some students won’t be able to pay it straight up and to be punished further simply for not having the money isn’t okay.

“I was fined for not having a ticket on my car for one hour even though I left a note saying I had no change but would give it into the reception after class, but it was ignored and I had to pay a fine. My only option was that or miss a seminar.”

You might as well give up on your car and just buy a fucking horse

“Shite” and “fuck” are two words that have often been used in the same sentence as “Stirling parking” on twitter. Largely due to the fact facilities are more crowded than the loos in Dusk on a Tuesday.

Many students have taken to twitter to voice their anger at the poor facilities. One student even said the parking “is nothing short of shite”, which is actually quite an unfair comment. Since shite at least makes flies happy.

The parking facility issues now represent a major concern for the uni, as these days it’s about as difficult to find a parking space at the University as it is to find a success story.