In defence of Geddes


Okay hear me out; I know this is in fact long overdue. It would be fair to say that this ship has sailed, circumnavigated the globe and returned to port laden with bountiful plunder, magic beans and cake.

But better late than never. I’m going to tell you why Geddes is the best halls on campus.

The motherland.

First and foremost, Geddes is the undisputed champion of parties.

I remember one night during Freshers stumbling into a kitchen to find two individuals sitting in awe of a man eating cereal and substituting milk for Dragon Soup. It was as impressive as it was bewildering.

My first night in Geddes was a baptism of beer, whiskey and vomit. All I remember is being put to bed at 9pm.

The subsequent nights are just as filled with crazy drunken antics the likes of which can only happen in Geddes. By the way, if you remember a tall, dark haired drunken Irishman offering you sips of “proper, correctly spelt Irish Whiskey” then, yes, we have met before.

We have more fun than any other halls on campus and that’s mainly because of the people here. We’re a colourful, happy and slightly mad bunch. We get along well and we could definitely drink any other hall under the table.

Just as the rest of campus is happy to leave us in a Ghetto, we’re happy to be here, you bunch of Rupert Murdochs.

To be serious for a moment living in Geddes is a better alternative than the likes of Beech, ASH and Willow (very subtle naming there, accommodation services). We’re paying tons less than any of the other halls. Geddes is an astonishing £59 cheaper per week than Beech.

59 quid! Let’s put that into perspective – for £59 you could get a bottle of Southern Comfort, a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, 8 beers and a 2 litre bottle of Strongbow.  That’s a few Skint Tuesdays and Tiki Thursdays sorted out for you.

And it’s hard to see where the extra money for Beech and Willow goes. Oh, sure the kitchens are an acceptable size unlike the Geddes kitchens; I’ve seen more spacious cupboards than a Geddes kitchen.

You might have your own ensuites but tell me this, do you have Shower Bantz? (No, we don’t wank each other off in the showers, well at least not in my flat.)

But we wouldn’t change the enlightening conversations we share in our communal showers for anything, not even a three-quarter sized bed.

We are paying less than any of you for essentially the same resources. Granted, Beech and Willow are pretty, modern towers of Ivory with a considerable amount of polish, but we still have the same WI-FI, “functional” heating, hot water and fridges (when they aren’t being thrown down stairs).

Who needs an ensuite anyway?

Maybe it’s a jealousy thing.  We in Geddes are the continuation of an infamous, notorious and, quite frankly, glorious legacy.

Many past residents will tell you how Geddes days were the best days of their lives and they wouldn’t change a thing.

A common sight in Geddes.

Here in Geddes we are united by our struggles: the dreaded shower room floor puddle, fridge thieves, bench thieves, birds getting into rooms and that SHITTY TEAR ON THE FUCKING POOL TABLE.

But it’s character building. I never thought I would have the courage to run around my flat naked after somebody had stolen my towel before uni. But I did.

Bench thieves are the only thing we worry about in Geddes (well, alchohol poisoning too.)

Geddes is the Disctict 12 of Stirling its residents are the Katniss Everdeens (with nudes and everything). We’re the Jack Dawsons, looking at Beech certain they wouldn’t move the fuck over to make room for us on the door.

When Russell Brand’s revolution finally comes, we’ll be on the right side of it.

I like to think of Geddes as an ancient, trusty, decrepit, three-legged dog that probably should have been put down long ago but wasn’t, because it would be like losing a family member.

P.S As far as I am aware, Geddes isn’t a petri dish of STI’s.