Best places to cry on campus
There’s only so much all night essay writing we can take
Got those January blues?
Of course you have. You’re back in Stirling, you’re already starting to realise how much your flatmates irritate you, and on top of that you’ve just lost a toe to frostbite.
Sometimes it just helps to have a little eye leak to get over your troubles. With that in mind, The Tab Stirling is here to help with a rundown of the best places to cry on campus.
The library
Between the bookcases
Go to the psychology book cases and you could even work on your issues as you cry
Not that subtle but an obvious choice. Stay away from the third floor if you don’t want everyone to hear you.
Privacy: 2/5
Comfort: 3/5
Chance of being heard: 4/5
Hidden among the book trolleys
This takes initiative
Slightly more inventive, and crucially this is the only mobile place to cry on campus.
Privacy: 3/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 4/5
In a booth underground
Hot drinks are optional
Just out in the open really…
Privacy: 1/5
Comfort: 4/5
Chance of being heard: 5/5
Behind the curtain at the back
This works great until someone spots you
Just watching people drink coffee, not creepy at all.
Privacy: 4/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 2/5
Atrium
Behind the print top up machine
With a complimentary bin for your dignity
This one is especially popular with students who don’t have money to top up.
Privacy: 2/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 3/5
Outside Haldanes
You could go for some comfort food after, assuming you don’t get sectioned first
For when you’ve really just lost the plot, technically this is really more of a place to cry for help than just a place to cry.
Privacy: 1/5
Comfort: 1/5
Chance of being heard: 5/5
Steps next to the union shop
If you’re lucky then the haze of smoke from the smokers will keep you hidden
You’ll only be seen by drunken smokers and they’ll probably forget come tomorrow.
Privacy: 3/5
Comfort: 1/5
Chance of being heard: 3/5
Outside in the bushes
Lucky its not outside a primary school…
The bad thing about this option is it could end with somebody else crying.
Privacy: 4/5
Comfort: 1/5
Chance of being heard: 2/5
Cottrell
On the stairs
If it’s busy then we recommend sitting to the side
There’s no way all those stairwells get used anyway.
Privacy: 1/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 3/5
In an empty teaching room
Turn the lights out for maximum effect.
Privacy: 5/5
Comfort: 4/5
Chance of being heard: 1/5
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