Best places to cry on campus

There’s only so much all night essay writing we can take

atrium campus classroom cottrell cry haldanes library stirling Stirling Uni students the best places underground union shop

Got those January blues?

Of course you have. You’re back in Stirling, you’re already starting to realise how much your flatmates irritate you, and on top of that you’ve just lost a toe to frostbite.

Sometimes it just helps to have a little eye leak to get over your troubles. With that in mind, The Tab Stirling is here to help with a rundown of the best places to cry on campus.

The library

Between the bookcases

cry 1

Go to the psychology book cases and you could even work on your issues as you cry

Not that subtle but an obvious choice. Stay away from the third floor if you don’t want everyone to hear you.

Privacy: 2/5
Comfort: 3/5
Chance of being heard: 4/5

Hidden among the book trolleys

cry 2

This takes initiative

Slightly more inventive, and crucially this is the only mobile place to cry on campus.

Privacy: 3/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 4/5

In a booth underground

cry 3

Hot drinks are optional

Just out in the open really…

Privacy: 1/5
Comfort: 4/5
Chance of being heard: 5/5

Behind the curtain at the back

cry 4

This works great until someone spots you

Just watching people drink coffee, not creepy at all.

Privacy: 4/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 2/5

Atrium

Behind the print top up machine

cry 5

With a complimentary bin for your dignity

This one is especially popular with students who don’t have money to top up.

Privacy: 2/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 3/5
 

Outside Haldanes

cry 6

You could go for some comfort food after, assuming you don’t get sectioned first

For when you’ve really just lost the plot, technically this is really more of a place to cry for help than just a place to cry.

Privacy: 1/5
Comfort: 1/5
Chance of being heard: 5/5

Steps next to the union shop

cry 7

If you’re lucky then the haze of smoke from the smokers will keep you hidden

You’ll only be seen by drunken smokers and they’ll probably forget come tomorrow.

Privacy: 3/5
Comfort: 1/5
Chance of being heard: 3/5

Outside in the bushes

cry 8

Lucky its not outside a primary school…

The bad thing about this option is it could end with somebody else crying.

Privacy: 4/5
Comfort: 1/5
Chance of being heard: 2/5

Cottrell

On the stairs

cry 9

If it’s busy then we recommend sitting to the side

There’s no way all those stairwells get used anyway.

Privacy: 1/5
Comfort: 2/5
Chance of being heard: 3/5

In an empty teaching room

cry 10

Turn the lights out for maximum effect.

Privacy: 5/5
Comfort: 4/5
Chance of being heard: 1/5