Alternative ideas for Lent

With Lent beginning this Wednesday, many people will be stressing over whether to give up beer or vodka for this religious observance.

Why not try out something new this year? Here’s The Tab’s handy alternative Lent list to help you make up your mind:

1. Spam

Giving up everyone’s favourite questionable meat product may seem like a toughie, but by two weeks in you’ll have sampled edible food and forgotten it ever existed.

2. Crywanking

Give your flatmates a break from cacophonous wailing. Why not try going to the gym instead? You can still break down if you feel like it; the friendly people around you will surely come to your aid.

3. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

I know this one seems impossible. “Gotta get my drift fill!” I hear you scream. Do not worry. You still have five other films to keep you going. Hell, they may even drift in those. Go take a look.

4. Friends

This popular sitcom is a genuinely hard thing to stop for many. But just think – maybe a month’s break would do you good. All the Chandler gold will be that bit sweeter come April.

5. Actual Friends

If you don’t feel like giving up Friends on television, just give up your friends in real life instead! Hole yourself in your room with weeks worth of dry food and really go at it. If you never stop, I estimate you can watch Friends twelve times through. Wouldn’t that be super good? Wouldn’t that be incredibly sick?

6. Arnold Schwarznegger quotes

I would suggest not trying this one, as 40 days without can drive even the best of us crazy. If you do, make sure to get that final “I’ll be back” out just before midnight on Tuesday, for ultimate kicks.

7. Aubergines

The main staple of any student diet. Instead of stuffing your face with aubergines all day, try one of those pies that comes in a tin. I bet that would be a good alternative.

8. The internet

For those adopting this approach, we will be delivering hand written Tab articles each morning. This way, you need never go without your favourite news source.

9. Food and water

This one is for traditionalists only. Warning: 40 days without food and water will kill you. Classic Lent.

10. The English language

Really let go this Lent by forgoing one of your most basic skills. This top tip is sure to leave you rejuvenated and aasod skasdo dfjsah.

Bjkiodgfhda jaj hs aj. Bakdodna.