So, you wake up after Halloween at someone else’s flat. Whether it is a random you met in the club or you crashed at your friend’s house, you have to find a way back home. People shouldn’t be standing around judging you, we know. But we also know they will, so here’s how to lessen the impact.

Step 1

Realise that you will never achieve this without some judging looks, but hey, it’s worth a try! No, you shouldn’t be judged for this, but here is how to cope if you are. Upon waking in the unknown house/flat/bed, go to the bathroom mirror. If you can’t find it, then use your phone’s camera as a mirror. Check your face- if you have whiskers, smudged make-up, fake blood or anything that would make you look like a psychopath – wash your face and try to remove as much of this dirt as possible.

You should have looked scary last night, but you don’t want to look scary this morning

Step 2

Hopefully slightly fresher faced, gather your belongings and head for the door. If you were wearing high heels last night then you’re about to look like a prostitute walking through Stirling at 10 in the morning. But, hold your head high and convince yourself you’re being as hipster as it gets. Lads – if you did wear high heels for Halloween then take them off before you walk out of the door. Going to the hospital for a broken ankle with your mate’s heels on isn’t going to look good.

Alternatively, pack flats!

Step 3

As you are walking through the centre of Stirling, you’re probably going to be victim to some accusing whispers, some shocked glances and a lot of wolf whistles. Make it look as if this was your plan all along- this is your normal outfit to uni isn’t it!? If you’re feeling a bit more jolly than hungover, then the odd “BOO” to scare passers-by won’t go amiss! If all else fails, put a paper bag over your head and avoid awkward confrontations with any friends.

The Halloween fun never ends

Step 4

If you live close to the centre, step 3 has you set. If you live in halls, you’re probably going to need the bus over a taxi as you’ll have spent half your student loan at the club last night. Get on the UL. This is serious, DO NOT GET ON ANY OTHER BUS but the UL. The uni bus is likely to carry the most students and you’ll miss most of the critical looks from the old ladies getting on the local buses.

Step 5

Smile! Even if you want to cry! No one is going to believe you’re doing the walk of shame if you are this happy. Forget that feeling of disgust and repulsion and paint a nice big grin on your face- but not too much as to scare other passengers.

Step 6

Finally! You’re home! Creep past your friends’ rooms – you don’t want them to see you in this state do you? Take off what is left of your Halloween outfit and get into some nice cosy pyjamas. You have now completed your Halloween Walk of Shame!