What your halls say about you

Everyone thinks their hall is the best, and so calls for a completely non stereotype-based, open-minded article to decide.

Agnes Blackadder

Your hall looks like a prison, and that’s what it feels like. After the trauma of dragging your belongings through a maze of corridors on moving in day, you decided to only leave your room in emergency situations due to the very real possibility that you won’t find it again.

Bragging about the freedom of making your own meals is little consolation when it was cooked in a kitchen that wouldn’t look out of place in an army base, and was eaten alone in your bedroom.

At least you have an en-suite to cry about it in.

Albany Park

The words Albany Park have almost become taboo around St Andrews. Infamous for being the cheapest and possibly most grim hall, residents of Albany Park avoid at all costs the dreaded “So, what halls are you in?” conversation.

Boasting a near two mile walk to North Haugh (who knew St Andrews was even that big?) Albany’s location can only be ranked along with DRA.

Thankfully this hardened bunch doesn’t make such a fuss.

Andrew Melville

Andrew Melville is unique in being the only hall you can specifically apply for, rather than merely listing your preferences. You thought this meant that Andrew Melville was an esteemed, special hall for the St Andrews elite.

No.

Designed to look like a passing ship, this 1960s eyesore has little good to be said about it other than the fact that it’s closer to town than DRA, not much of a victory.

David Russell Apartments/Fife Park

In a move to compensate for the lack of tuition fees from wealthy students from Scottish private schools, the university built the expensive David Russell Apartments and Fife Park.

There’s a lot to be said about DRA/FP, it’s arguably the nicest hall in St Andrews, and being the largest there’s a large mix of people so you’re bound to find a solid squad who are equally keen to find out exactly what the ‘Lizard Lounge’ is.

Unfortunately, if you don’t live in DRA you never get the chance to actually hear any of the good things because the residents are too busy complaining about how tired their feet are after the walk, if they make it into town at all that is.

John Burnet

While having a handy location near to both the centre of town and North Haugh, John Burnet can only be described as a slightly bleak version of McIntosh.

Not only do the rooms and corridors feel like a school boarding house, but the boys and girls are also forced to live at opposite ends of the building- not ideal. It’s not surprising that people often forget this hall exists.

McIntosh

McIntosh may be the only hall to hold the status of being as nice on the inside as it looks on the outside. The location is pretty perfect, it has stunning old common rooms, and if you’re lucky enough to get a single room, it’s probably massive.

The McIntosh lot can have pride in knowing that they stay in one of the oldest halls in St Andrews without feeling the need to endlessly go on about it, unlike some other halls…

St Regulus

Does Regs actually exist? Has anyone ever met anyone from Regs? Probably not.

No one has acknowledged the existence of St Regulus hall since it became part of the university in the 50s, if you ask someone where it is they will most likely respond with a bewildered look and tell you they’ve never heard of it. And that says more than I ever could.

St Salvator’s

You’re American and you couldn’t wait to come to St Andrews to experience all the history and cute old buildings. You heard that Prince William stayed in ‘St Salvator’s Hall’ – and that Hugh Grant enjoyed the occasional visit – and you knew this is where you positively must stay. One grovelling letter to the university later, and you were in.

Despite being one of the best known halls, in a beautiful 1930s building housing many of the elite students, Sallies is not even particularly nice on the inside. It’s unfortunate that the dingy interior doesn’t reflect how it looks from the outside, perhaps that’s simply to mirror the residents.

But, hey, who wouldn’t want the possibility of sleeping in the bed where Wills lost his virginity?

University Hall

An immensely competitive bunch, you most likely arrived to uni with a lacrosse stick in one hand and a hockey stick in the other.

Uni-hallers will take the inter-hall sport competition far too seriously, possibly meeting up for daily training and preparing specific hall meal plans for these serious athletes.

Uni Hall residents will also constantly assure you that their hall is the best in every other way: socially, location-wise, room quality and so on. But the more you hear this the more you are inclined to think the opposite.

They will also probably avoid mentioning the slightly less appealing modern Lumsden block.