Imogen Clarke: The dawn of Thankzilla

Imogen discovers Thanksgiving, and the meaning of R Kelly’s ‘Bump ‘n Grind’.


“Tell me this is not the best thanksgiving you’ve ever had?”

“This is the only thanksgiving I’ve ever had”

“Exactly.”

I live with an American. She’s fantastic. Not only does she understand British humour better than most natives, but that girl is a godsend with a hairbrush and a curling iron. Then it was thanksgiving – the dawn of ‘Thankzilla’.

Thanksgiving was not optional. We would eat until we felt sick, we would be happy, and we would watch ‘A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving’ and love it, whether we liked it or not.

‘Thankzilla’ coordinated us to purchase food, drink and crafts. Yes, crafts. Imagine six students drawing around their hands and feet to make brightly coloured paper turkeys. Primary school children may have been slightly horrified by our efforts. Maybe even more horrified at one flatmate’s decision to make a ‘sexy turkey’. I still don’t know what that means…

One thing I have learnt about thanksgiving is that it seems to be very centered around potatoes. We had mashed potatoes, roast potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, sweet potato soufflé…then there was the turkey covered in so much bacon even Homer Simpson wouldn’t have coped. The only greenery came in the form of brussel sprouts, but even those were doused in bacon and cheese. My task was dessert: chocolate, pecan and bourbon pie. It didn’t look pretty – putting the pastry into the tin was akin to assembling a 1000 piece jigsaw – but it tasted damn good. The possibility of a food related cardiac arrest was very real. I now understand the meaning of R Kelly’s ‘Bump ‘n’ Grind’ – my mind is telling me no, but my body, my body is telling me yes.

Safe to say we barely even dented the amount of food that was set up on our kitchen table. Thanks to the lack of a suitable carving knife, I dismantled the rest of the bird with my own bare hands (before proceeding to chase my flatmates around the kitchen with ‘turkey grease hands’). It shall be curried imminently; looks like it’s leftovers until Christmas…

Apart from an abundance of comfort food there are many things I am currently thankful for, primarily the sweetest flatmates I could ever imagine. Thankzilla included.