Imogen Clarke: An Ode to the Wednesday night

I feel like whatever UK university you’re at, one thing remains the same: the hockey team has one hell of a reputation.

St Andrews is no exception.

But, while attracting match wins and avoiding the usual bruised, swollen and occasionally broken limbs are a part of its charm, nothing is more important than the Wednesday night. I’m yet to experience a Thursday training session where I don’t find myself saying ‘I did/said WHAT?!’ or where I don’t want to die a little bit. I’m also yet to sit in my Thursday morning lecture without questioning why I thought sambucca was a good idea. It invariably leads to poor life choices…and some disconcerting memory loss.

I hear university-wide cries that hockey isn’t the only sport to go hard on a Wednesday. Yes, that’s true, but hockey does it better and here’s why.

Firstly, we know how to work a theme. Any ideas about looking spectacularly glamorous and alluring can be discarded right now. So far I have spent my Wednesday night wearing:

• full hockey kit (including shin pads)
• 80s fluoro
• my rather exotic PJs
• a very bad taste Hawaiian shirt
• an orange boiler suit (that one won me a bottle of prosecco)
• double denim

Add to this the neon face paint, which is out every week. And Kate Lessenger, I don’t think I’ve ever truly thanked you for your rendition of ‘English Country Gentleman’ – that fluorescent yellow moustache was worthy of a Turner prize. If we end up in the union we tend to look a little out of place, but, quite frankly, who cares?

Secondly, numbers don’t lie. Hockey is huge. We even now have an official 5^th team (who won their first match today 6-2 – super proud). I don’t think I need to say any more.

And, most importantly, being far away from home, my team is my family. In St Andrews terms that’s quite literal considering my captain is my academic mum, and the subject of my most exquisitely attractive (blurred) Wednesday night photos. There are no other people I’d rather end up in Empire with at 2am on a Thursday morning, or attempt the Tay bridge challenge with. There are no other people I know who will provide fresh baked cookies at pres, or eat their morning cereal with Bailey’s because they ran out of milk. Quite frankly, there’s no one like them, and I love them for it.

Yes, I’m biased. No, I don’t care. Hockey is the best sport. End of story.