A Word on Feminism

Not a swear word, not a stereotype, not man-hating.


If the first thing you think when you see this is something along the lines of “oh God, not another one,” then you’re the person I want to talk to.

Scrolling down my Facebook news feed, it’s obvious that the media is full of articles about feminism and the feminist agenda. Buzzfeed and Tumblr are aching under the number of criticisms for Disney princesses, for social views of beauty, for Dapper Laughs and photo shopping. You can’t help but click on art installations celebrating the vagina, embracing breast-feeding and menstruation, reclaiming archaic insults and screaming from the rooftops that “the absence of no isn’t a yes!” Exhibitions on womanhood in third world countries, contraception, small breasts, love handles, make up, sluts, how we dress, what we say, what we earn… it’s all there. It’s everywhere.

I recently came across an article from The Huffington Post which contained artistic renditions of what Disney princesses would look like with realistic waists. Having seen this before I viewed it as a simple and entertaining way to outline the problems with introducing girls to society’s view of the ‘perfect body’ from a young age. As a nineteen year old girl, and one not altogether absent of vanity, I know first-hand how growing up with Belle’s perfect hourglass figure can cut deep when seeing your own perfectly ordinary love handles in a mirror. So, when a boy shared this article with a charming description that read: “Oh, fuck off with this shit. Anti-man arseholes making issues where there aren’t any,” I was not unduly offended. Neither were the 3067 people who liked his share.

Therefore, as a feminist – and yes, I can see you cringing at the term – it’s time to debunk a couple of assumptions. But, to be honest, if you won’t listen to Emma Watson you certainly won’t listen to me. Or perhaps you will, since she’s a glorified sex symbol, and I can assure you that I am not.

I disliked the word ‘feminist’ until recently. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realise that to be feminist is just a part of your life; like not being racist, being a nice person, having table manners, and always saying please and thank you. I wear make up, I care about my appearance and I have a boyfriend. I don’t go around telling people off about objectification and yes, I find some sexist jokes rather amusing. It’s the crucial ignorance and hatred that has built up against the feminist movement that I find frustrating.

Feminism isn’t man-hating. Feminism isn’t a divide between genders. It’s not some swear word to be spat at a woman who doesn’t shave her legs. It can be taken and adapted according to each individual. To differentiate the audience by appealing to men, or by appealing to women, is to completely undermine the foundations of what I think it means. Feminism isn’t about upholding the rights of women at the expense of men, nor is it about pandering to men to beg for the rights of women. Quite simply, it’s to work to the benefit of both genders equally.

Any feminist argument is generally met by three arguments: ‘men have it hard, too,’ ‘not all men treat women like that,’ or ‘women have double standards.’ All might be true. If, rather than allowing the stereotypes of hairy, angry, hate-filled ‘bitches’ to fill one’s entire view, it would be simple to see the advantages feminism technically has for everyone. To advocate feminism is to undermine the social view of men that they have to be hard and emotionless. It is to allow freedom of gender and to analyse the fundamental separation we succumb to at birth. I liked Barbies growing up, but I also loved LEGOs. Playing with dolls inside appealed to me, but driving a tractor on my grandparents’ farm had its own benefits. Just as I used to find my brothers’ friends sneaking upstairs to play my Sims 2 and stare at my Bratz dolls in fascination, so did my friends and I steal his Action Men to throw out of the window with a makeshift parachute.

I don’t hate men. Actually, I quite like men. I’m friends with both genders and, believe it or not, we have a lot of the same interests, beliefs, and ideas about the world. When arguing against the expectations of female beauty or actions I am not criticising men for their views. I am looking at the media, politics and traditional stereotypes or gender roles. Having grown up with a fiercely intelligent Italian mother who was in the office from 8am until late every day on one side, and a traditional English stack of aunts and grandmothers on the other side who question my appearance and subscribe to the view that I should be at university Prince-hunting, it’s hard not to desire one and resent the other. As to whether or not women have double standards, it’s true that women demand equality then sigh over the death of chivalry. To these people I say that chivalry is dead, as it should be: the movement that advocated maiming people in the name of religion shouldn’t be a code of manners in the 21st century. To treat one another with respect and kindness goes beyond chivalry, sexism or gender roles.

So, there it is: my views on feminism. Not a swear word, not a stereotype, not man-hating, just an idea that should really fit into a good person’s morals in the same way that respect of the elderly and table manners should.

 

Image courtesy of http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Equal_Suffrage_Votes_For_Women_1915_Jambalaya.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/30/disney-princess-real-waistline_n_6076634.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063