Cycling in St Andrews

Charlotte Adams on the perils of being a biker in St Andrews.


When I thought about applying to St Andrews, I imagined myself drinking coffees on the beach, strolling around in my Instagram-perfect lifestyle with a gown on my back and a smile on my face. I knew instantly that a charming bicycle would fit into this plan, and it would be glorious. I’d cycle along with my hair blowing in the wind like the girl from The Kooks’ “Ooh La” video. My bike would be ridiculously girly, with high handlebars and a basket which carried nothing but freshly picked flowers and puppies. I’d ride it around town looking like the most sass-tastic, majestic cyclist you’d ever seen.

My plan got off to a good start. I found a lovely bike on the Free and For Sale Facebook page that matched the image in my head: a white Raleigh with pretty flowers. I snapped it up, bought a basket and a retro horn off of Amazon, and began my adventures. However, I soon became aware of how truly disastrous biking in St Andrews can actually be.

My bike wasn’t looking its best when I got it, so I tried to clean it up a bit. Trying to de-rust it inside, I was confronted by Uni Hall’s caretaker, who told me to “Clean it outside, lassie.” I spent hours sitting outside Uni Hall in the freezing cold scrubbing my bike whilst a plethora of Uni Hallers, none of whom I knew at all, looked at me awkwardly before pointing out I had washing up bubbles in my hair. The menacing stare I must have given them was probably the reason I sat alone at breakfast.

After asking on the Uni Hall Facebook page for bike oil, I managed to borrow some from a boy who later commented on the post asking if I was done using his “lube” yet. Where everyone could see it. Not cool, bro. And to think all of my bike problems arose before I actually used it…

My basket was way too big for my bike. It would constantly rattle and bump against its frame, which meant I couldn’t fit the front light on properly. This meant that, on one unfortunate occasion in heavy traffic, the front bike light fell off into the road and I had to sacrifice it in my pledge to get back to halls for dinner. For the past year, this has meant that once it starts going dark, that’s it. My bike either has to live outside the library for a few days,or I’m riding in a complete state of terror thinking that I’m a. going to die or b. going to get stopped by the police and be taken to Glenrothes. Which is better? Bear in mind, Glenrothes sucks.

At home, we would happily cycle on pavements and life would be safe and fun but oh no, not in St Andrews. Here, you have to cycle on the road. There are no real cycle paths that keep you safe, either. I did my cycling proficiency at age ten, and it wasn’t until last year that I learnt you should cycle on the left side of the road. I learnt this because a car emergency braked in front of me. Why aren’t we allowed to cycle on the pavement? Oh, yeah. PEDESTRIANS. Why should we respect them when they clearly give zero cares about us? They march into the road of their own accord, expecting us to emergency brake and nearly go flying off our bikes at every point and make us fear a car is going to slam straight into the back of us.

I find it difficult to cycle with one hand, so every time I signal a turn, I’m overcome with the fear that I might fall off my bike. Every time I approach a roundabout, I have a panic attack.

Don’t even get me started on the cobbled streets. They take you by surprise when you turn into Market Street, like an old enemy. Think the doctor and the Daleks; Sherlock Holmes and Moryati. Suddenly you are assaulted by what I can only to an insect standing on a phone in vibration mode. They may look pretty, St Andrews council, but a tarmac cycle path wouldn’t go amiss. Please.

Despite all of my gripes, I couldn’t live without my bike. I definitely do not wake up early enough to get anywhere on time without it, and it’s only taken me a year and thirty hours of driving lessons to learn the highway code. My motto for cyclists and budding bikers everywhere is ‘Act like a car.’You deserve the road just as much as they do.

Image Courtesy: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Bicycle#mediaviewer/File:Ordinary_bicycle01.jpg