What your music taste says about you

Through the sterling work of Music is Love, Dan Palmer et.al., it would seem that the penchants of the student body are well catered for, broadly encompassing reggae dub nights to hip hop socials to cheesy pop in The Lizard. But to prevent you from getting mired in the tricky navigation of these various scenes, The Stand has helpfully compiled a guide as to what your musical proclivities really communicate:

King Charles – You are a Trust-afarian who defiantly tries to assert your anti-establishment credentials in light of your obvious affectation for the monarchy. You are the official Music Officer of every St Andrews fashion show.

Mumford and Sons – Your ears are too clogged up with tweed and income tax exemption documents to listen to whatever those NME oiks are recommending. Your Bell Street flat echoes to more banjos than the set of Deliverance and find David Cameron a “ruddy ledge”. Unexplainable fondness for the films of Carey Mulligan.

Disclosure – You find Daft Punk too populist and think the next evolution of dance music is an endless soundscape of wibbles and donks. The success of Duke Dumont is all your fault.

Taylor Swift – You have an intelligence and wit that belies the popular perception of you.

Miley Cyrus – You have a laziness and inanity that matches the popular perception of you.

Beyonce – You are Buzzfeed’s ideal user. You bear the heavy cross of knowing that “Drunk in Love” will only ever be the second-best “…In Love” song of Her Regalness, Queen B.

The Proclaimers – You are the Yes Vote campaigner who demands a nationalist singalong at the end of every night in the Lizard and will give a Glasgow kiss to any American IR student who tries to lecture you on the devaluation of the pound sterling in the event of independence.

Avicii – You are a walking Jagerbomb. In a sea of library MacBooks, yours is the only one with a live feed of the Miami Ultra Festival minimised in the corner of the screen. You are also probably subsidising the tuition fees of Tiesto’s kids and further contributing to the EDM-soundtracked degradation of campus nightlife.