Toby Harris: On social media etiquette

The virtual world is a whole new domain of social conduct and one that is constantly adapting as we assimilate it more into reality. Our parents taught us our “pleases” and “thank-yous”, how to handshake and the modes of formal address. But we are the first generation to grow up with social media paralleling our real existence. With the cyber world, we are both the teachers and learners of expected conduct, often educating our predecessors too. We make the rules and we define how to behave, meaning that we are learning as we go.

Facebook exploded through my early to mid-teens and has continued to do so exponentially. My virtual career began, as it did for most, with multiple social car crashes. Looking back at my social media profile, a sense of maturity and progression has informed my virtual social trends similar to fashion developments. The social media profile commenced with sickeningly awful statuses, mixing up CaPs LoCk and lOwER cASe letters, after a public declaration of how phenomenal the most recent rendez-vous had been. This was compounded by compiling an album of contrived images in a variety of different poses. Needless to say, I was a virtual liability.

People really care about their virtual presence and seem to often sacrifice how they are perceived in reality for the sake of “an attractive” virtual profile. On a night out, people strain, agonize, stress and edit every inch of a photograph to make sure that it is a suitable one for their online profile. The negative value of a “bad” photo is deemed to be frightening, able to sabotage ones’ credibility as a “good-looking person”. They have to show off their “good side”, ruffle their hair and don the formulaic pout to ensure that the camera compliments their every feature. Relax and enjoy your evening.

What does the number of likes on pictures and posts actually bring you? A “like” means nothing. I could virtually “like” something that I don’t actually like. Isn’t that insincere or dishonest? You’re only able to “unlike” something that I have already “liked” but what if I dislike it from the beginning?

Facebook friends – it’s not quality, it’s quantity, which is totally the wrong way round. Why accumulate every Tom, Dick and Harry that you meet as a symbol of your so-called popularity or lack thereof? Nobody thinks of someone with 1000 Facebook friends as any more credible of a character than someone with 43. In fact, I probably have more respect for the person that prizes the recognition to be labeled as a “friend” whether virtually or really.

The virtual world is a community that is rapidly evolving. Conduct is changing; some adopt the duty to “like” everything their pal posts as a duty of loyalty, which I don’t quite understand. It becomes a virtual obligation with a relentless urge for endorsement. Yes, it is nice to receive praise but if “to like” becomes the basic standard, its value is cheapened and soon we will have a “love” option. Don’t cheapen its meaning…and the joke’s on me for posting this on my Facebook page.