What your Spring Break says about you

Despite only having two weeks off for spring vacation, most of you managed to squeeze in a holiday abroad, leaving our beloved bubble behind to explore the ski trails of the Swiss Alps or the souks and sand dunes of Morocco. Whether you chose a lad trip, a week of calorie-burning in the ski hills (of course, all regained through the chalet’s thickly-iced cakes and three course meals), or a beach holiday to some island or other, The Stand have something to say about it.

Skiing

Personally, skiing is my favourite holiday (unfortunately I haven’t been for a couple of years due to my sister’s hatred of ski lifts and limited Wi-Fi access) because it combines everything one needs to have a good time and forget about work: strenuous physical activity, food (carbs, meat, cake, what’s not to love?), hot chocolate (mugful upon mugful), and, of course, partying. The day isn’t complete without trays of Jaeger Bombs, table dancing and a drunken ski (or more likely bum-slide) home. If you’re a fellow ski-junkie, you’re someone who lives life to the extreme, refusing to lapse into inactivity and risk missing out on youth’s advantages.

Beach holiday

Since we’ve all been living in cold, damp darkness for the past six months, it’s no wonder so many of you took the opportunity to book getaways to hot climates as soon as you heard the words “spring break”. It was time to sun your skin back to its glowing summer bronze (who doesn’t look better with a tan?), reawaken your hair’s blonde highlights and replenish your body’s vitamin D levels, essential to human health and happiness. You’re a well-rounded, balanced person as you enjoy both the active and sedentary sides of beach holidays, equally content playing tennis as you are sipping cocktails on a beach lounger.

Lad trip

Amsterdam is a very popular destination for today’s youth (especially large groups of boys) due to its infamous red-light district, sex museums, vintage shops and, as if we’d forget, legal drug use! Most young people go there expecting to spend a few days in a drug-induced haze, leaving the city’s cafes and nightclubs only to wander the streets languidly in search of food and a hostel bed. However, they are often surprised by the city’s clean, beautiful reality, and leave with a newfound appreciation for canal systems and flower markets, as well as a kilogram of hashish.

Internship

While your friends jetted off to opposite ends of the globe, a number of you managed to secure yourselves internships at financial firms or advertising companies, smiling inwardly every time your best friend boasted about her yoga retreat in Bali in the knowledge that you’re more likely to secure a high-powered job one day and earn millions. You enjoyed putting on workwear every morning, joining the crowd of office workers on the Piccadilly line, and completing all the tasks assigned to you with the efficiency and skill of a full-time employee, returning home every evening only to take a bubble bath, chin a well-deserved glass of Sauvignon Blanc and dive into bed. You’re ambitious and ruthless, not afraid of betraying friends and family members in your single-minded determination to be better than everyone else.

Sofa

Last, but certainly not least, we deal with you overworked, sleep deprived St Andreans, who used spring break to restore depleted energy levels by vegetating on the sofa in front of the TV, flicking between ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ and ‘How I Met Your Mother’ while making up for lost time with Truffle, the family’s overweight chocolate Labrador. Although your mother wasn’t impressed with the Mars bar wrappers and empty diet coke cans strewn across the floor, and tried hopelessly to drag Truffle off her newly upholstered sofa, you ignored her cries of “When are you returning to university? Don’t you have any work to be getting on with/ friends to see?” and enjoyed two weeks of blissful unawareness.

 Welcome back to St Andrews!

Images from Wikicommons and Jokeroo.