The Stand’s Guide to conquering those pesky essay deadlines

EAT. SLEEP. LIBRARY. REPEAT.


1. Eat your weight in chocolate.

Chocolate is always the answer. To misquote the annoying American from Four Weddings and a Funeral, John Lennon, “Chocolate is the answer and you know that for sure.” And, with the multitude of mini eggs, chocolate bunnies and creme eggs on offer in all St Andrews’ favourite supermarkets, how could you possibly say no?

Imagine if these were all chocolate…

2. Procrastinate productively.

Deny yourself the enticement of the latest Buzzfeed quiz (supposedly Dean is my dream Gilmore Girls guy, really helpful knowledge for my Byzantine history essay), stalking the person opposite you on Facebook (why and how do they look so good when it’s only 9am?) and daydreaming about sailing over the horizon to somewhere idyllic, warm and far, far away with your library crush… (Ok that’s just me…) Instead, catch up with your correspondence, do your laundry, apply for those summer jobs, remind yourself of your parents’ voices and do some exercise. I mean they’re all things that you need to do anyway…and they’re definitely better than actual uni work.

3. Set realistic targets.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  After every five pages/50 words, treat yourself to a sneaky Facebook stalk, Snapchat, snack or social media update. But only for five minutes… (or twenty). Much like habitual trips to the gym (I’m told), gradually increase the difficulty and reap the rewards. I recommend: a trip to the inevitable charity bake sale, laughing at Jeremy and James being rude about cyclists in the latest Topgear episode and, for the ultimate indulgence – an expedition to the hallowed temple that is Nandos.

What even is Lent anyway?

4. Give up going to lectures. Especially if they are in the Science buildings…  And your history lecturer has decided not to turn up. Give up the terror of a daily confrontation with death because of your inability to cross the road/roundabout. They should really get some traffic lights… Oh wait… Anyway, who knew that there were so many hours in the day?

5. Set an end goal.

Whether it’s finally having the time to re-watch the entirety of the O.C., to live it up in the Lizard, or actually managing to cook a meal that isn’t pasta, pick something that makes you happy and look forward to it.

We can do this…

 

Images courtesy of Towson and Jens Meyer/AP