The case for a sober night out

So being drunk (drank) is fun and all, and I love it when I’m having such a good time that I don’t even care who I am with, what I’m wearing, what I’m saying, or what my name even is. Because being drunk means not giving a fuck about what other people think about me.

But sober nights, consider it:

1. I actually know my name, and I know exactly who I am with and why I am having fun.
2. There is no hangover tomorrow, and I can wake up fresh and be productive in the library.
3. The chances of you getting arrested or fined go down severely since you will properly be able to run away from the Po-Po.
4. So you may not be able to have comfortable conversations with uncomfortable people/strangers, but you will have amazing conversations with comfortable people/friends.
5. When you wake up the next morning, you’ll know exactly whose bed you’re in, and you wont have a tummy ache from a Dervish/Empire late night excursion.
6. You will actually remember your entire night.
7. Cheaper.
8. When your mom asks you on Skype what you did last night, you won’t have to lie.

The only problem is, you can’t be the only sober one. It’s an all for drunk or an all for sober fun kind of thing. And there are so many sober-fun things you can do at night.

Let’s brainstorm:

1. Bowling. Cosmic Bowling. At the rink in Dundee.
2. Hide and Go Seek in the Graveyard.
3. Storytelling bonfire on the beach.
4. Build a fort.
5. Stand outside of the lizard and help drunk people as the wander out with their problems.
6. Watch fights outside of Empire and make bets.
7. See a play at the Barron Theatre.
8. Board Games!

See, there are so many sober nights to be had in St. Andrews my friends. Don’t let the booze keep you bruising and don’t let the losers keep you losing.

And as someone making fun of Hamlet once said, ‘To drink or not to drink, that is the question.’